Thursday, November 8, 2007
BULLS VS. PISTONS - LIVE-BLOG
Welcome to the madness. I would have started this thread sooner, but me and Noce went on a booze run. We decided on Crown and Coke, as we hopefully will be celebrating the first of many Bulls wins. Enjoy me getting pissed off at Duhon.
START OF FIRST QUARTER:
- Ben Wallace is already taking shots and missing: Not good. Bulls get the board back, Hinrich no good
- Tyrus Thomas gets the steal, and is rewarded by Hinrich with a dunk; the only shot he's capable of making.- Luol Deng with a jumper; followed by Wallace with a basket. The Bulls are doing a good job on defense out of the gate which is nice to see. Thomas gets an lay-up, and one. Fuck yes. Please keep this up.
- Whoever had the under 5 minutes for Skiles getting pissed off about something, you're money.
- What the Fuck is going on? Suddenly Wallace discovers an offensive game? What's next; no fouls for Hinrich?
- Were at the 7:40 mark, Bulls up by 7: 13-6
- NOW THOMAS HITTING JUMPERS?
- Even Duhon is getting in the act. This is the best the Bulls have looked so far this year. Impressive or sad?
- First Hinrich loses Rip Hamilton, then he loses the ball on the opposite end. Doug Collins just announced Rip named his newborn Clay. Must have been to late to get an abortion, so he gave the kid epitome of what he thinks of him.
- HOLY SHIT! Wallace gets a rebound. What a novel concept. Now get about 14 more.
- Welcome back to earth, Duhon you suck!
- Thomas dunks on Sheed, Sheed burns him on the other end. Bulls still up by 7 however with a few minutes left in the quarter.
- On the way to the liquor store on Clark st., we saw a hotel for "men only". For those interested, I'm sure you can get Craig Sager's autograph in front of their after the game.
Detroit is slowly creeping back into the game; Luol answers with a comeback.
- Noah checks into the game; while I go to make a drink the following conservation transpires between me and Noce:
ME: Where's the bottle of Crown?
NOCE: In the freezer.
ME: Most people take the booze out of the fucking box.
Innermonologue: What a putz.
THAT'S THE END OF THE QUARTER, BULLS ARE UP. I'D TELL YOU THE SCORE, BUT MAKING MY DRINK IS PRIORITY NUMERO UNO AT THIS POINT.
BULLS 29, PISTONS 23
START OF THE SECOND QUARTER:
- Duhon hits the first shot of the second. Any time you hear the name "Flip" in this quarter: drink
- Noah is working like a asian sex slave with a gun to the head. Nice to see, not pleasant imagine.
Noce just pointed out that we haven't seen Thabo. Good thing. Noah just ran the floor and almost got it to go. Fuck, it's too bad he can't wear his ping-pong paddle, cause he can't shoot for shit. Nocioni is in the game; Noce is pleased. In fact, since he just hit a shot, Noce has gone into the other room. I told him to keep it clean.
- WERE AT THE 8 MINUTE MARK, BULLS BY 9
- Doug Collins indicates he would like to Nocioni shopping at the local Jewel. What nice guy. Too bad he came with this comment worthy of Awful Annoucing: "Benches play better at home". Whatever you say, Doug.
- Gordon has picked a good time to warm up. He needs to keep hitting these jumpers to build his confidence. The current floor for the Bulls is Hinrich, Deng, Gordon, Nocioni and Wallace...finally something that resembles what the Bulls ideally want to do: Hinrich cuts into the lane, and hits Wallace for an easy lay-up. Time out Pistons, Bulls up by 12.
- Speaking of Gordon, its things like this that make me want to break a toddler's shin; STOP TAKING STUPID ASS SHOTS WHERE YOU CONTORT YOUR BODY LIKE A CIRQUE-DU-SOLEIL MEMBER. SPOT UP, SHOULDERS SQUARE, THEN SHOOT! JAGOFF.
Just saw a replay of Hinrich crashing into the Pistons bench. So nice of those cocksuckers to help him up or something. FUCK YOU DETROIT BENCH. Luckily Hinrich said he's ok. Wallace is back to playing like the fuckstick he's been this year; losing the ball while dribbling. Tyrus Thomas, stop shooting.
- Thank you Nocioni for ending this wretched bullshit called the Bulls offense. And thank you God for hearing my pleas for Thomas going back to what he does best; dunk in someone's face.
AT 1:59, BULLS 48, PISTONS 43
- If the CIA wanted someone to inflitrate Tehran, I vote for Rasheed Wallace. His facial hair would be perfectly welcomed in Iran. I could see him posting in Amuwhatever the fuck his name is; Mahmoud getting mad, and having him shot.
- Ben Wallace keeps shooting, I keep drinking to offset my anger. I think Noce might need to handle the second half; if this keeps up I'm going to be passed out by the fourth quarter.
Classic 2007 Bulls happening in the last minutes going into halftime; slowly choke the lead away. Unfucking real. AIRBALL YOU COCKSUCKER!!!! Fuck Rasheed.
In response, Classic Nocioni. Hits a tough jumper, then turns around takes the charging foul on Billups. Atta Boy!
WE HEAD TO HALFTIME, BULLS 51, PISTONS 45.
SEE YA SOON, SMOKE IF YOU GOT'EM.
START OF THE SECOND HALF
Noce here, welcome back. It took all of 19 seconds for Hinrich to grab his second foul, way to go Kirk.
- Luol with a nice slash to the hoop, he's able to do that at any time in the game - someone just has to light a fire up his ass.
- Hinrich is 3-7 for the night after knocking down a long field goal.
- Gordon hits and the Bulls widen the lead to 10 points, remind me of the talent everyone was talking about going into this season.
- Billips with the hard fould on BG, I really wouldn't be sad if Billups, Hamilton and Sheed all suffered career-ending injuries tonight.
8:00 left in the 3rd
- Kevin Harlan starts making excuses for why Ben Wallace can't jump, saying that he's fighting an ankle sprain. I disagree. If you were being paid $60 million to basically only grab eight rebounds a night would you jump? He's going to get his eight somehow.
- I just realized how unfunny I am right now. I'd apologize but I'm pretty sure there's nobody even paying attention so it doesn't even matter.
- If you counted turnovers Tyrus would be well on his way to a triple double tonight...oh well I'll take the points and boards.
- Ben Gordon picks up his fourth foul on the offensive side of the court, how I have no idea. Enter: Duhon. Exit: my happiness.
6:00 left in the 3rd Quarter:
- Tyrus makes a great play offensively but falls asleep on defense, letting Sheed drain a 3 in his face.
- Tyrus rejects Rip Hamilton and the fucking cheap shot artist grabs Tyrus from the ground and earns himself a technical foul. Rip Hamilton is 2nd on my most-hated NBA players behind James Posey. A quite refreshing "Detroit Sucks" chant is heard from the crowd.
- Duhon can't even make an uncontested free throw, will someone please break his knee-caps?
- I swear to god if I have to hear an announcer say that Deng is having a "quiet night" I'm going to punch myself in the dick. I blame England for making you such a pussy.
- Duhon turns it over twice in a row, prompting me to chug a beer, and then Sheed hits a 3 to take the lead down to 3. Pistons take the lead down to 1 and I'm even less happy than when I realized I wasn't good looking.
3:00 left in the 3rd Quarter:
- Could you imagine if Tyrus was in college right now? He'd be a junior for LSU and they would be favored to win everything, including most tattooed team. Duhon with a stupid foul, god damn I hate him. If anyone, ever should have considered abortion, it should have been Duhon's mom.
Alright kids, as Dr. C retakes the helm, the Piss-ons have just taken the lead.
OH FUCK...here we go again, Hinrich makes a play on the ball, then gets a Napoleonic complex and takes on three Pistons for a lay-up. Winner of both contests: England and Pistons.
- WOW, Noah goes up for a dunk, and looks like me on a nerf hoops above the door; falling on my ass and looking horrible. The difference? I'm in room, Noah is in front of thousands. Advantage Me.
- As Noah was shooting his free throws, Wallace talks to shit to him. I'll take a stab the verbatim:
Sheed: I got more weed and ability then you.
Noah: I can dance better then you.
Sheed: Touche', Nappy head.
THATS THE END OF THE THIRD QUARTER: BULLS 78, PISS-ONS 75
START OF THE FOURTH QUARTER:
Alright, we pick up the action from the 8:44 mark. Everybody pretty much bailed on us when the Office came on, and I don't blame you for that. If you happened to have come back to check up, here's what you've missed:
- No one wants to pass to Duhon
- Rip Hamilton tripped Tyrus after he rejected his shot because he's a crybaby piece of shit who sucks at life; and probably the game of Life
- The Bulls have dominated the offensive boards
- FUCK YOU FLIP MURRAY. You're the NBA version of Tyrone Biggums
- LUOL COMES UP WITH A BIG SHOT, BULLS UP 5...SCRATCH THAT, WALLACE HITS A 5-FOOTER, LEAD REMAINS AT 3; WALLACE HAS PULLED A CUTTINO MOBLEY WITH 36 THUS FAR
WERE AT THE 3 MINUTE MARK: BULLS 94, PISS-ONS 91
There was just a kick-ball foul, clock just went from 11 to 14; isn't it supposed to go to 24?!
- TYRUS WITH A CLUTCH BLOCK ON HAMILTON, BUT HAMILTON HITS A LITTLE RUNNER MAKING THIS A ONE POINT GAME...kinda like how he did in that UCONN NCAA tourney game back in 99'. Thank you Wikipedia for the reference.
- WEVE GOT 33.9 SECONDS LEFT, BULLS UP BY 1
- Beautiful move by Gordon to draw in the cocksucking crybaby for the foul; Gordon hits the first, misses the second. Shit. 26.3 seconds left. Time-Out Piss-ons. FUCK YOU RON HARPER YOU TRAITOR FOR JOINING THE ENEMY. Ron Harper will now be considered a Benedict Arnold in my book. Instead getting an eggs dish named after him, anyone who stutters that I don't like will now be called Benedict Harper. Good, I'm glad that's all cleared up now.
Oh Shit, might as well stop posting, Duhon's in the game. YES!!!!!!!!! FINALLY WALLACE MISSES ON A ISOLATION AGAINST THOMAS!!! FUCK YOU SHEED!! HAHA
- Joe Smith is fouled; misses the first..please dont fuck up the second. Thank you God, my prayers are again answered. BULLS BY THREE WITH 13.3 SECONDS LEFT, BULLS WITH 1 FOUL TO GIVE.
- Billups tries to get the foul because he's a pussy and can't take a legitimate three, dishes to Hamilton who misses, BULLS BALL WITH 2.9 seconds left. THANK YOU TYRUS THOMAS FOR AT LEAST HITTING ONE FUCKING FREE THROW. BULLS BY FOUR AND HAVE THIS ONE IN THE BAG!!!
GAME, SET MATCH, AND THE BULLS ARE NO LONGER WINLESS!!! WAY TO GO BULLS, AND A BIG FUCK YOU GOES TO THE PISS-ONS FOR BEING CRYBABIES AS USUAL!
Final Thoughts from Me and Noce:
Noce: Were overpaying for Wallace, he can go back to Detroit; Tyrus, I'm glad we didn't trade you; Hinrich can be effective when not getting his stupid fouls; I'm still waiting to see what Luol can actually do.
Dr. C: I fucking hate Rip Hamilton. While I'm not the biggest Rasheed Wallace fan, I definitely respect the guy's game. Chris Duhon sucks, but that's no news flash. I agree with the Luol comment from Noce. If the guy is supposed to be the next superstar, he needs to show up more then just occasionaly here and there. He's needs to get the killer attitude, the attitude that says to everyone give me the fucking ball and get the hell outta my way. Every superstar has the mentality, Deng needs to develop that this year to grow into the potential everyone can see.
If you happened to check in with us tonight, thanks for following along. We appreciate it, and we'll be doing more of these in the near future. ALso, I have somethings to do in the morning, so look for a few posts in the afternoon/evening.
Posted by Dr. C at 7:14 PM