Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Bear Down...Your Beer!

While I've never been one of those people who loves to exploit celebrities/famous athletes while they're out on the weekends, I couldn't resist with this one.

This picture, taken by a friend who shall remain nameless, shows Bears LB Lance Briggs out and apparently doing his best Rampage Jackson impression.

As you can see by the time stamp, Lance was out around midnight last Friday, I think at Stone Lotus, which is the kind of bar that attracts suburbanites, the occasional celebrity and anyone willing to drop around $20 on a Red Bull and vodka.

I'd like to know if Lance was winking on purpose to signify the assumed blowjob or if he was just so blitzkreiged, he had no idea what was going on.

I'm just happy that Lance's recent night out didn't end up like it did about 10 months ago.

On the other hand, that one, seemingly harmless accident did account for the adoption of the greatest two word saying for a drunk driver: Lance Briggs!

I don't know if I'd ever have the stones to pull a real Lance Briggs!, but it would sure be hilarious to see the look on the cop's face if I did. I imagine it'd go something like this.

Officer: Sir you were swerving all over the place and driving way too fast, do you have an excuse for yourself?

Me: Um...Lance Briggs!

Officer: Oh, well then you're free to go. Just leave your car here and we'll clean this mess up for you. I think you can still make it before last call if you hurry, have a good night kid and keep up the good work.

BallHype: hype it up!


Triston27 said...

Wow. He's hammered and still stumbling over good looking ass. Hope he didn't drive her home.

Docksquad said...

Haha, I'm going to try that next time I get pulled over - IM LANCE BRIGGS bitches!