F-Yeah Friday Links

I'm supposed to be in training right now, but the other guy in my class didn't show up today, so I'm sitting here job shadowing, and it's about as exciting as watching a season of Major Dad. I would go crazy on some posts, but my boss isn't far from me so I have to look the part at this point. With that said, here's some links for you to enjoy, as well as Bo Ryan doing the Soulja Boy (yes it needs to go, but this is actually really funny)..Have a great weekend.

- Poor Joe Pa not only has to deal with being old, but The Big Lead finds he's also paid terribly

- The Angry T takes a look their top five worst NFL analysts, and while I don't agree with having Da Coach on there, the #1 selection was an easy one to predict. Where's JC Pearson on this list? He's god awful.

- Having some personal issues recently? Fret no more, as the Ghosts of Wayne Fontes have found athletes who know how to make you a better person



- Mac G has some problems with the officiating last night in the Dallas/Green Bay game, and while it does have some effect on the game, their defense is only place to look for the reason why. Bigby sucks.

- Place your bets on the end of Isiah's run as Docksquad wants to see when you think he'll be gone. I say a it's a gift to Knicks' fans on Christmas.

Week 13 Picks From The Doctor

Once again, my picks have fallen. Noce was spot on with his call of 37-27 Dallas, and a tip of the cap to you sir. All I can do at this point this point is take gambles and hope they pay off. As far as I'm aware, I'm down 9 games at this point. On a positive note, I'm 8-4 against the spread at Epic Carnival, so take the good with the bad. Anyways, for those you who give shit about our picks, which I doubt you do, but just in case, once again I apologize for us giving the bird to Week 12. To be honest, I probably would have fucked up more picks, so it might have been better for me to have not picked at all. Whatever. On a side note, Scarlett stop fucking drooling on my bedsheets, please. Every time I roll over I'm fucking drowning.

PS I will make my three picks for EC. If you like to make some plays, take my word for it; you will make money, and if you don't email us and I'll have Noce pay the difference.

SF @ CAR: 17-10 49'ERS
BUF @ WAS: 24-13 'SKINS
HOU @ TEN: 23-17 TEXANS
ATL @ STL: 27-7 RAMS, LINE: -3 STL
SEA @ PHI: 24-16 SEAHAWKS, LINE: -3 PHI
DET @ MIN: 28-14 LIONS, LINE: -4 MIN, IF YOU TAKE ANY PICK, THIS IS AN EASY MONEY WINNER, TAKE THIS AND PUT JOHNNY JR. THROUGH KINDERGARTEN!!
JAX @ IND: 31-23 COLTS
SD @ KC: 19-13 CHARGERS
NYJ @ MIA: 21-13 JETS
DEN @ OAK: 34-17 BRONCOS
CLE @ ARI: 20-17 BROWNS
TB @ NO: 27-21 SAINTS
NYG @ CHI: 23-17 GIANTS
CIN @ PIT: 27-24 STEELERS
NE @ BAL: 38-10 PATS

Real Quickly, Picks For The Cowboys/Packers Game

We will resume our weekly picks, so expect to see them up before Sunday. I haven't turned on the TV since getting home a couple minutes ago, so here's the picks. The only way I'm going to come back this year is if I pick against him, sucks to say it, but I'm taking the Pack even though I Dallas has this one. Oh well, gotta bite the curb sometimes.

NOCE: 37-27 DALLAS

DR.C: 31-28 GREEN BAY

How Much Longer Will Weber Last?

I'm a big fan of Bruce Weber. I got to cover his last season while he was at SIU before moving 180 miles north of Carbondale to Champaign-Urbana. The guy was very accomdating, funny, and always gave well thought out soundbites. Unlike Chris Lowery, he understood that some of the clowns that work in the College media will never materialize, or are not polished at that moment (me being one of them as a freshmen) but he always works with you, and appreciated you were trying. When he left to go to Illinois, I was happy for him. He deserved it considering what he accomplished at So Ill, and the program would not be where it is now if it were not for him. However, as he deserved his praise for turning around a non-existant Saluki program since back in the day when Clyde Frazier took them to the NIT Championship; he also deserves criticism. Let's face it: that great 04-05' team that came up just short was all Bill Self's recruiting. As the Illini lost for the second time this year last night to Maryland 69-61, it seems apparent that Bruce could be on the hot seat if Illinois doesn't do well this year, and the only direction he can point to is back at himself.

BRUCE WEBER IS THE OPPOSITE OF RON ZOOK FOR RECRUITING:
It must have been reassuring to Bruce that his brother; the head coach of the Glenbrook North Boys Basketball team, happened to have one of the best seniors in the country, not to mention the 2006 Illinois Mr. Basketball award winner, given to the best player of the year. What's not so reassuring? When he signs his letter of intent to play for Duke. How do you fuck that up? You + your brother can't convince him to play at Illinois, having won 112 games since 2003, which ties them with Duke and Florida for the most in D-1 Men's College Basketball. Now add in the fact of many others who opted out of the orange and blue; most namely Derrick Rose (Memphis), Eric Gordon (Indiana) and plenty of other Chicago/downstate products. What does Weber have to show for his in-state recruits? Next to nothing. And how about outside of the Land of Lincoln? Where's the ability to recruit in the Midwest?

The opposite is what shows up for Ron Zook. He got landed Benn, a D.C. product; he landed Martez Wilson, a D-end highly touted from Simeon in Chicago, rated 6th on Rivals.com in his senior year. It's funny to think how different these two coaches' career paths have traveled. Zook took over a national program in Florida (high point), didn't live up to the expectations he inherited and was fired (low point), took over an Illini football program that hadn't been prominent since 2001, and now has them possibly BCS bound again (high point). Weber, a long time assitant to Gene Keady finally got his first break at a non existant SIU program (high point for him, not so much for many). He lead them to their first sweet sixteen in 25 years, which lead to the Illinois job, and took them to the National Championship (definitely high point despite the outcome). Now, he can't recruit the blue chip players to come to Chambana, and the Illini program is getting nowhere fast, as evidenced by their first round exit at the hands of Virginia Tech last year in the NCAA Tournament (low point, and an added blow that his previous team kicked their ass in the next round).

The Illini basketball program has proven on paper to be in the upper echleon of College Basketball thus far in the 21st century. It should be a place where High School seniors opt to go; not having to be schmoozed. Yet Bruce will not schmooze; he will tell you he'd like you come to Illinois, but he's going to beat your ass into the hardwood with drills. You think O.J. Mayo would say, boy that sounds swell! Fuck no. Blue chip recruits want to be treated that way as superstars. They've already had a good portion of the public be able to recite their name to this point, why should they have to work as hard as some gym rat from Decatur? Hence, the fallout has begun for Bruce Weber. What makes Zook different from Weber? My take is the opportunity to start immediately, because his expectations are completely different. Bruce is expected to win constantly. Zook has plenty of leeway, and in turn, he can tell blue chips they'll start instantly, which is music to their ears. Who cares how the football team finishes? Everyone expects the Illini football team to suck. With expectations come come consequences. Zook has overperformed, and from the looks of things in the future, Weber has underachieved. Good luck Coach Weber. The odds for turnaround are against you.

A mix of random thoughts, From Your Doctor

When I promise to be accountable for my actions, I stand up to it. Of course, that rufies case with that hot 17-year old who told me she was 19 is completely different. But in terms of blogging, I'm a man of my word. I said I would post every night, and damn it I mean it, even if I am uncapable of driven a vehicle. Makes it more fun for you and I to read tomorrow morning. PS Every word I type I fuck up at this point, so if there's typos, bear with me, I'm doing my best. See, every Tuesday at this bar within 10 minutes of me, there's a Cricket Tournament (Darts for all you shiteaters who don't know better). I fucking blow if I'm not wasted. If I have a good amount of alcohol in me, I can hold my own. Did I play tonight? Nope, I was actually watching Merry Christmas Charlie Brown when one of my friends asked me to go (Say all that you want, I have priorities around holidays mf'ers). So I went and here I am now, a couple pitchers and jack and cokes deep. Fuck if I care, I'm in training, and we don't do shit at this point. Where the fuck was I going with this? Who the hell knows, anyways, I think what I was aiming at was these points of my day in thoughts of sports today and what we encounter as men.

- THE PASSING OF SEAN TAYLOR: I'm not a redskins fan, but I am a fan of the U. Why? Who fucking knows, I just think Miami has the sickest bunch of guys who play the meanest defense every year, and I love it. Exactly why I loved Sean Taylor. The Meast killed people on the field for the 'Skins, just as he did for the U, and I don't give a fuck about what he did off the field. The dude was a champ on it, and I sorta feel how My Brain Says Rage does on the subject. It's weird to feel down about somebody you've never met. Steg and Ray, I'm with you guys. Terrible to see such a great athlete go down the way he did.

BROADS HOOKING YOU UP WITH OTHER BROADS: Sorry to switch so differently, but I'm going off of my thoughts as they come, so bear with me here. You know what's a bunch of bullshit? When Broads push another one onto you giving you a look like she wants to fuck you. It's one thing you tell she's into me, it's another when you give looks like yeah it's all yours and then find out they're fucking psychotic about their ex-boyfriend. Why the fuck are you sending me into the Malibu flames with a bottle of Evian? What do you honestly think is going to happen? Here's my questioning, and if you have thoughts, lay it on me. 1: You think you're friend will mesh well with me, but instead of going slowly, you have us fucking in the lion's lair with 5 minutes for our lives. Don't give me that impression and those fucking facial expression that I get to blow it on her face later. If you she's in, tell me, don't play the 25,000 pyramid with me, you fuck. 2: I forgot where I was going with this, but I'll improvise. The chick she told me to talk to pretty much all but cups my balls and ass at the same, then starts on the phone seeing what their ex-boyfriend is doing.

Let's sum this up: A: I've wasted my time when I could be drinking more or talking to other chicks, B: My friends think I'm a Dick Lawyer, which is a term we use for one of our friends who chases pussy after they're in an ambulance. I was going to put a C: option, but I've ran out of thoughts, and I have to get up soon. Anyways, I know it's a random post, but I promised something, and I hope you enjoy my randomness.

One final thing, I doubt you'll give a shit, but I too have split my artery in the leg. I had my Femur busted as a running back when I was 11. That really hit home for me personally to hear how it happened considering how much blood I lost too. Your body has 16 pints of blood, I lost 10 of them when the bone cracked into a y-shaped fracture. The good lord blessed me with a resurgence of my own blood rebuilding, and I hope nothing for the best for Sean's kid, his fiancee, and his family.

Are The 07' Bulls Any Different From the 07' Cubs?

For any team that has high expectations, a slow start always finds a place for blame to be established. While it's hard to compare a slow start with basketball to football, it is easier to compare it with baseball. And what team better to compare the Bulls against, than a team who played only a couple months ago who also had lofty expectations, started slow, then managed to catch up, only to lose in the first round of the playoffs? Yep, your good ole 2007 Chicago Cubs. While it's true the Bulls are notorious for their terrible starts, this team just strikes me as a mirror image from the diamond to the court. Let's take a look at how they compare at the Bulls current point, to where the Cubs where after their first month:

CUBS THROUGH APRIL: 0-6 in one-run games, 1-9 in one to two-run games. In short, a team that couldn't score when it needed to which players blamed on the cold weather.

BULLS THROUGH NOVEMBER: 2-10 overall, averaging 86.5 ppg,with a -10.0 ppg differential which = WORST IN THE NBA. In short, another team who can't score.

PLAYERS WE EXPECTED MORE OUT OF IN THEIR FIRST MONTH:

CUBS: ALFONSO SORIANO/BULLS: LUOL DENG: Soriano spent most of April not doing jackshit except striking out and nursing whatever injuries he had. He hit a few homers, and that was about it. Considering his price tag, you would have liked to seen a bit more to help so the Cubbies could come out of the blocks better.

As for Luol, whatever killer instincts we as Bulls fans would think to have seen by now is all but forgotten; a strange dream we can keep thinking could have happened at some point only to realize it was fiction. That's exactly what Deng has been; an afterthought thus far this season. He hasn't learned to take over games, he seems passive at times, and I don't know that he has made more of an impact then Chris Duhon has (a definite reach, but when you consider expectations, it's a little more down-to-earth).

PLAYERS WHO HAVEN'T SHOWN UP, AND WON'T SHOW UP:

Derrek Lee and Kirk Hinrich: While his RBI's this year were pretty much his average from 2000-05 (only played 50 games in 06'), his home runs were down by eight in 2007 from that span. You could argue he had a better year then usual with 43 doubles, a .317 average, along with 180 hits; but how many games can you remember when he came through in the clutch? Yeah, decent numbers, but look comparatively to his numbers in the NLDS this past year: .333 avg, 0 HR, 0 RBI's, ZERO IMPACT.

Kirk Hinrich is shaping up for an even worse year thus far: 10.9 ppg, .349 fg %, .211 3 pt %, 5.5 apg. All numbers down from his career averages. Outside of his stupid fouls, Hinrich is a ghost on the court, and while his career would indicate he'll bounce back, I don't see any impact that he makes on this team that Gordon or the aforementioned down Deng won't be able to do.

TWO COACHES WHO HAVE NO CLUE WHAT'S GOING ON:PINIELLA/SKILES:

Skiles has no answers, while Lou could barely speak sentences. But honestly, what do you expect these guys to say or do? Skiles can't make them shoot better no matter how many drills he puts them through, while Lou couldn't make the Cubs hit for most of the season. He could have had them practice bunting, but that would have been too much for a major league team to focus on, apparently. The difference in these two lies in experience, which Lou has Skiles lapped over on several times. Lou is also more calm these days, while Scotty looks like he hasn't taken a shit in over two weeks. The Cubs had the advantage of a Brewers team which prematurely finished like 'Special K' in Can't Hardly Wait. The Bulls will not have that luxury, as the Pistons know they better quickly head back to the NBA Finals before getting too old, not to mention the Celtics' early dominance. How does a jump shooting team get better? If you have a thought, please forward to Scott Skiles, he's dying to hear from you (and if you have a constipation remedy, send that one even sooner).

An Apology For the Last Week...

I've really just needed a break from blogging. There's been alot of bullshit in my mind on how I view what other sports bloggers perceive of each other, and to be perfectly honest, it's more fucking childish then the Wiggles. Yeah, those pole smokers. I can't believe all these people who think they're the next fucking Stephen King with their bitchin' novels, and to be honest, I just wanted to be done with this whole thing for a couple seconds. But, after taking a break, I've decided to continue on and focus my efforts towards this site, with of course my reports for Epic Carnival. Alright, I'm good to go, but one last word to all you douchebag fucksticks who think you're hot shit. Enjoy your 30 dollars of monthly revenue on your lastest Mascara products, you talentless Home Depot night shift managers.

Moving on, I would like to reaffirm to those of you who have been typing us in, or coming through differents sites such as 670 the Score to inform you that I am officially back in full force, Monday through Friday, and if I feel like it, something randomly on the weekends. Fuck, it's great to be back. Since Noce and myself have been useless, let's fill you in on the shit we've been doing since our time off.

- I lost my ATM card last Saturday on the way to Mickey's on Clark, and have had to assume the role as the local mooch to make ends meet until that fucker comes in the mail. I think Thanksgiving has fucked up the time process too, which absolutely sucks more dick then Michael Jackson in Toys-R-Us with the lights off in the store. Noce has notarity(sp?) for being a mooch. In fact, I have him a spreadsheet for money he borrows so I can track my shit (ok not really, but the more I see of him the more some future implementations have to be considered).

- Noce went to South Dakota to watch his one of younger brothers play hockey. The kid's pretty damn good apparently, I mean why the hell else would one move to South Dakota, other then to escape Jewish and Black people? (not a racist comment, but tell me how many goldstein's or william's you find in a local phonebook there..racist there? slightly). While he spent his time in modern communications hell, I myself spent most days either asleep or drunk. Now that's what I call vacation!

For those of you who have been checking in, thanks for sticking with us; unlike the Bulls we promise to come out of this funk.