Catching Up with Dr. C

Well it's been a while now, hasn't it? Yes, it's your old buddy Dr. C, here. I figured I would post an update though most of you are probably long gone by now. I'm amazed the site still averages aroudn 130-150 hits per week despite the fact we stopped regularly posting a long time ago.

Anyways, I'm not sure if you'd quite call this a comeback. I have been thinking about it for a while and figured this is the best way to get back in to the arena if I do; no promises. I will say this though; I will not be writing anymore satire because I'm fucking horrible at it. Please feel free to rip me a new asshole anytime you want on that terrible Bryant "Big Country" Reeves piece; I've earned it. I would like think some of our better pieces still exist on the site (ie ESPN Douchebag Members) and still make me laugh.

Maybe Steg and Trunk would like to join the 2012 comeback tour.

Anywho, since our last chat Dr. C has gotten married within the past month. I now live with my wife in Yorkville. Noce is still around; doing whatever it is he does these days. Other then that, nothing real ground breaking. I've been working at the same company for 3+ years which has been nice considering my early 20's if I made it to a year at one job I celebrated with single barrel Jack.

As for Chicago sports, I've been somewhat out of the loop after dealing with 15K worth of wedding expenses and overall bullshit to pay for. I must say that a week in Mexico was nice though. Much like everyone else I was expecting the 2011 White Sox to return but that has not been the case so far. Adam Dunn is back to form, Rios remembered what the point of an at bat is and the Cuban Tank has been playing out of his mind.

Obviously they're gonna come back down pretty soon. Humber pitched better in his last start against the Rays but has looked pedestrian after his perfect game. No telling if the 15 days off for Danks will help his shoulder/back. MLB trade rumors posted that Kenny will look to add soon if they can keep this up; but at what expense? You have the worst farm system in the majors; what could anyone possibly want that's going to net a player worth a 1/2 year shot at the playoffs?

In terms of the Bears, I was pretty pleased with the Alshon Jeffery pick. Everything else, we'll see. I don't have a problem with the Bears taking Shea McClellin but I thought drafting Brandon Hardin in the 3rd round was Angelo-esque. You still had Bobby Massie available on the board if nothing else but to provide some competition to J'False start Webb.


As I mentioned, if I do end up posting consistently again it will probably be a couple times a week and not everyday as before. We shall see.

I'm going to start writing more

About what? Only time will tell. It's been so long since I last took this writing thing seriously, I honestly do not know what to expect to produce here but I have some things cooking.

Most of the focus will be Bulls-related obviously, and speaking of which they are doing suprisingly well given injuries, a new coach and the ever-absent but always-starting Keith Bogans.

We'll dive into a few more things unrelated to sports, and to be honest I'm not sure what those things are just yet. It's going to get worse before it gets better, but whatever "it" turns out to be, it will be better than nothing at all.

Game on.

Now For The Truth

Ok, now here's what really happened. I was released from my job in mid-September in 2008 becuase the Chicago Tribune is bankrupt. So I bounced between a couple jobs here and there until April 2009 when I got the job where I am employed to this day today.

I doubt you really give a shit, but I think me and Noce realized that spending more then half the day either commenting on blogs or figuring out what we wanted to post about wasn't making us money as sales reps.

Granted, I would still rather post stupid Chicago related sports bullshit then listen to what I need to rectify from my customers; but what makes more money?

Anyways, I'm back. I've spoken with Noce, and while he seemed like he would like to bring the 'Bull back, we'll see. What I can promise is that I'm going to go back in everyday starting on Monday. While I'd like to look back on what I missed in terms of posts, I may do that, but it would be few posts and done.

That being said, it amazes me how many people wonder what's happened to Bryant "Big Country" Reeves. We've received around 30 hits a day, and at least 50-66 percent of those searching for that talentless asshat. I guess irony directed them to my talentless attempt at humor.

The Lord works in mysterious ways.

True Stories from the Graham Correctional Center...

It all started on a fun night back in October 2008. When you're an eight ball deep, it always seems like a great idea to steal that asshole's 1992 Mercury Cougar. I mean, fuck him; that car is a piece of shit! He should be so lucky to have me steal it and drive into lake shabbona 40 miles away. He gets the pay out on insurance! I get a good chuckle...win win.

That was until an unmarked DeKalb County Sheriff just decided to stick his nose into a perfectly fine ride at 95 mph. What an asshat. Mind your own business.

After a year and a half of making bones, getting boned, and eating shitty food I'm back damnit. And there's a lot I missed, apparently.

WAY TO GO, HAWKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

More to follow

Your 2008 AL Central Champs: Chicago White Sox

It's 10:30 now here in Chicago, and I must have seen the A.J. Pierzynski tag on Michael Cuddyer at least 25 times by now, and I plan on watching it at least 25 more times tonight.

What a prick.

It almost seems like you can see him say to Cuddyer "you're out" after showing him the ball. And I fucking love it.

You would be hard pressed to find a player more hated by every fan base in the Amercian League and here on the north side of town then Anthony John Pierzynski. AROD? Close, but no cigar. And it's the little things that he does that make me as a White Sox fan think of him as a complete prick but at the same time love him for what he does.

With Cuddyer at third, Danks threw a pitch in the dirt that A.J. lost track of for a mere second, but had the baseball I.Q. to try to fake Cuddyer out as though he had lost the ball. It's the little things that A.J. has done, from running to first after the "dropped" third strike in game 2 of the ALCS, and more recently him drawing the interference call against the Rays whom they will face Thursday in Tampa.

Looking back on the season, there's three things have have really stuck out as to how they got to the postseason:

- The maturation of Danks and Floyd
- The emergence of Quentin and Ramirez
- The veteran leadership of Thome and Konerko

First: Danks and Floyd. I'm not going to reiterate how they came over, because if you're a sox fan, and you're reading this blog...you should know. If you don't; put your cubs hat back on. Danks was shut down in September last year for scuffling so bad, and when the Sox traded Garcia to Floyd, you'd of thought they'd were having parades in the streets of Philly to get rid of Gavin. That just goes to show you this season what Don Cooper means to this staff. To turn Garcia, Garland, Contreras, Danks, Floyd all into pitchers whom you would rather not face when they're on.

Second: Quentin and Ramirez. Both of these guys were nowhere near the discussion of being apart of this team heading into the season. So what did they did do once given the chance to play everyday? Combine for 58 home runs and over 175 RBI's. Before Quentin broke his wrist, he was the leading MVP candidate for the AL, and while Longoria in my mind deserves the AL ROY, the Cuban Missile made it very close in the long run. Without these two, the end up tied with the Royals for 4th place if not worse.

Third: Thome and Konerko: Let's face it: they didn't do a whole lot when you look at he broad spectrum. HOWEVER, they made it happen when they needed to. Konerko started off decent enough until he hurt his hand and then his oblique, which made him powerless for a good two months. After he got back, he struggled mightly until the end of August when he helped J.D. get the team the AL Central lead up 2 and a half games. Thome? You saw what happened tonight.

This was a team that nobody predicted would do shit, and the same goes to the Minnesota Twins, who in my opinion should have been the winner of the division.

The coin flip rule is complete horse shit. The Twins were 10-8 versus the Sox, and this game should have been played in the house of horrors that is the Metrodome. I sure as shit will not complain, but if the circumstances were flipped, this is what I would bitching about.

Twins fans, if you're pissed, I completely understand.

That said: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

FUCK YOU!!!!

I'm very excited for the playoffs starting on Thursday in another house of horrors that is the Trop, but at the same time; this is an awesome game to watch.

One of my friends texted me after the 5th inning ended that this was the most exciting game he had ever seen (sarcasm alert for retards). I texted back that it was very similar to game 4 of the '05 series that didn't have a run scored until the top of the 8th thanks to a J.D. single that scored Willie Harris.

Although the go ahead run was a 461-ft blast to center instead of a single to center, the end result remained the same with similar spectacular plays in the 9th.

Instead of Juan Uribe diving into the stands to record the second out of the inning, it was Brian Anderson making a great diving catch to end the game, capping the division that seemed so far gone after the 3 game sweep less then a week before.

I have no idea what Ozzie's pitching match-ups for the season will be, but here's my inebriated suggestion:

Game 1: Vazquez
Game 2: Buehrle
Game 3: Floyd
Game 4: Danks
Game 5: Buehrle

Vazquez has been pitching like a fuckface recently, but he has the freshest arm, and if you lose game 1, not a big deal. You'll still have your more consistent 3 ahead of him pitching the rest of the way. I would also have no problem with pitching Clayton Richard (aka Clay Dick) in game 1. Richard seems more likely to have a good 5 innings then Vazquez would given what we've seen lately.

For the first time in 102 years, the Cubs and White Sox will be participating in October, and while I don't really like the Cubs, I'll be watching both teams very closely. Part of me hates the Cubs, and the other part doesn't have a problem with them because so many of my friends are die hard Cubs fans.

I want my friends to get the feeling of winning a World Series, and the other part wants them to go to fall classic only to fall on their fucking face. It's a very fine line with the Cubs. But no matter what happens in the long run: this has been a very special summer in Chicago for the entire city.

May the best team win...and may the White Sox prevail.

Where The Fuck Is Mr. Brown?

As you may or for most of you may have not noticed; we haven't been blogging. Why? (for the seven regular readers of this site) I'm currently job seeking. So how about Noce posting? Ask him (actually don't..he'll ask you what he should write about and then do nothing about it!) I will tell you this much though: I will continue to blog (how much I do, I promise I will let know what to expect), but it will not be during the work day (once again, depends..if the job sucks, fuck it!). When I came up with the idea to start this shit, it was my contention to hopefully provide similar chicagoans with a forum to spew their A: hate B: sorrows or C: relate overall discontent with how we see things and the ways we would hope as logical self-owners to deal with these problems.

As part of my new ideals for Chicago Bull: If I was looking to read a Chicago sports blog, I would list this as the credentials for why I would want to read it; and this is what I hope we as your editor strive for:

A: To not provide with what you already know: We the writers, expect you as the readers to already know the breaking news. You probably don't check our site for breaking news. Therefore, we should provide you with bullshit jokes. I.E.:

-Joakim Noah has been suspended for 5 games for pot! He's hoping with this next batch of weed brownies to:

A: sit out for another 5 in hopes to catch up with Parental Control on MTV!
B: Speaking of MTV: Learn how Chris Brown decorates his crib with fashionable shit so that he might be up to par in case the producers come calling like they did with Kendall Gill!

-Where are they now? Chris Willaims: Rehabbing or sniffing coke with Gary Busey speaking about Freddic Mac? We'll give you 50-1 odds on the latter! You just never know with these Vanderbilt grads! They have some serious connections!

In other words, we'll probably give you our assertions from time to time as to what we think will happen; but at the same time, do you really look at us for analysis? FUCK NO! WHY WOULD YOU?! Granted, we are educated (though I may not prove it with my hold on grammar). But, as my new goal for this site, it's our aim to fuck with everything and everyone. We might be serious sometimes, but when you spend most of your time at McGee's on Sheffield and Webster taking fucking jager shots, it's hard to form full sentences.

For those that have been checking in with us, I promise to provide with above average jokes, and by that I mean 76%. At least I'm not to the point of pedding porn because I'm such a shitty writer like some people...

Album Review: Death Magnetic

***LINK TO THE FULL ALBUM IS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE POST***

Tomorrow marks the release of Metallica's ninth studio album, Death Magnetic. About a year ago, I started hearing rumors about how Metallica was going back to being "Metallica", but we all had heard that before with the last two albums. Load was a D- effort while Reload and St. Anger pathetically failed the standard.

If you didn't already know from reading our site, Noce and I are huge Metallica fans. HUGE. The first cassette I ever owned came in the form of the Black Album Christmas of '92 when I was 8. My first CD was Master of Puppets. Metallica has always been my favorite band, and the reason I picked up a guitar 9 years ago. I don't play as much as I used to when I was a teen, but once a week or so I'll pick up my Ibanez and launch right into the Four Horsemen.

Obviously I missed out on the glory days of old Metallica, but I'd like to think having been a fan for 16 years I know a thing or two about them. You'll have your different factions who will have their own "I was there in '81 shit", and the teenagers who think every single thing Metallica does or is is the voice of god almighty. I'd like to think I'm somewhere in between.

I acknowledge the Lars douche factor, the fact they haven't been themselves since Master of Puppets, but doesn't everyone eventually move on to trying different things?

Well, if the past 3 albums have been about experimenting with different shit, Death Magnetic is the tonal middle finger to those. Gone are the southern blues riffs of the Loads of shit, and the Drop C churning of the "raw" St. Anger.

Returned is the standard-tuned triplets, the face-melting Hammett solos, and crazy tempos shifts. Death Magnetic is what you would have expected following ...And Justice for all, with their 10 songs averaging 6-7 minutes each.

I'm not going to review every single song, but I will highlight the ones that I don't think hit the mark as well as the others.

First off: the first single off the album, The Day that Never Comes. The first listen I gave the song a week and a half ago, I got bored with it after 3 minutes. Noce gave up after one. But I was determined to listen to it all the way through. The whole tempo change and lyrics of "love is a four-letter word"..ending with the awkward shouts of "THIS..I..SWEAR" don't really fit. But that's when the palm muted transfer comes to the uptempo ending.

It's a song that grows on you, but it's nowhere near the likes of the blistering The Judas Kiss or the funky main riff of Beat, Broken & Scarred.

While I now have an appreciation for The Day That Never Comes, one that will definitely take some time is The Unforgiven III. First Unforgiven? Awesome. The second one? (Spews into some small cup handed to me from Garth). The third time around is not a charm either. It starts off with a mellow piano open, and goes into a decent riff. It's long-winded in my opinion (no, really?) and the hook doesn't do much for me.

With those two pointed out, the rest of the album is all that I could have hoped for. Any of the other 8 songs are worthy of playing on repeat for 10 times, but my personal favorites in order are:

The Judas Kiss
Beat, Broken & Scarred
All Nightmare Long

In all, I would have to give the album an 92% for an low A. I think The Day That Never Comes could have been improved shortened a bit and some lyrics changed, and the Unforgiven III should have been made with a better hook. But outside these nitpicking thoughts, the album is fucking solid. It seems like having Robert Trujillo come in helped, as well as enlisting Rick Rubin to do the album instead of Bob Rock.

While the wait to get the album finally ends tomorrow, a new wait for me will begin. Tickets the upcoming tour go on sale this Saturday morning at 10am. I will be on ticketmaster.com at 9:30 waiting to pounce. Once I have the tickets, it feel like an eternity again before they arrive in Chicago on Monday, January 26th and Tuesday the 27th at the Allstate Arena.

Thank you Metallica for finding yourselves again.

Here is the entire album so you can start the bleeding of your ear drums: