Will The Hawks Open the Checkbook Finally?

Two things before I get into this post.

#1: We never congratulated Patrick Kane on winning Rookie of the Year..so..congrats.

#2: What the fuck is that dress? A guard to protect the legs while walking through sawgrass? A diversion from her average rack?

Ok, now that we got that out of the way, the NHL free agency period starts at 11am today. Ryan Malone is a Lightning bolt, or something like that. So that leaves on the market Marian Hossa (seen right with Zebra safari leader), Sean Avery and Pavol Demitra who aren't in the 34 and older category for forwards.

At Defensemen you've got Bard Stuart, Paul Mara, and one got the 'Hawks already have their eye on, Brian Campbell.

I don't claim to be a "Hockey Aficionado", or know a ton about alot of these guys, but what I do know is how fucking cheap every franchise is in this city is that doesn't play their sport on a diamond. While the Cubs and Sox are generally willing to pay (Cubs much more becuase they can afford to, thanks to their lovely bar at Clark and Addison), the Bears, Blackhawks and Bulls generally tend to stay reserved.

The McCaskey's have astonished me so far by paying Tommie Harris what he's worth, but still have Urlacher and Hester to take care of.

The Bulls paid Jordan what he was worth in his final years, but since then would prefer to draft and develop their talent rather then pay for it free agency. And I'm sure their thanking god after not signing Gordon to 50-60 million they were willing to before this past season started. Talk about fucking yourself out of a payday, BG.

The 'Hawks? What was their last splashy signing? Hey Hawks fan, we just got Andrei Zyuzin, try not to shit yourselves!!! I guess in reality that would be the 'Bhulin wall. Personally, I would rather commit to Lalime (whom is also a free agent, and rumored to be heading back to Ottawa. Looks like I'm fucked on that commitment).

With 44 million locked up, and a salary cap of a little over the 56 mil., it appears the Hawks will try to lock up Campbell, and another forward who can provide some scoring. That title was assigned to Havlat, but picking up a straw without tearing a muscle is obviously too much to ask for.

While .0009% of this city will be paying attention to see who they sign, I'm excited for the upcoming season. They should finally be expected to compete, and having back on the airwaves completely is something no one under 30 has ever seen.

So please John McDonough, don't follow city sports franchise spending policy. Commit to the payout.

You Got What You Didn't Pay For

Some people are cheaper than others when it comes to certain things. We've all heard about Lions receiver Roy Williams not tipping the Pizza man when he comes knocking at the door. We all have someone in our families like Uncle Frank from Home Alone:







"Traveler's checks"...what a piece of shit. Anyways, you can file this one right at the top of the tightass ranks. According to the Chicago Tribune, a 61-year old woman was found in her Michigan City, IN home dead. She was found underneath her covers with a hat on and several layers of clothing...because she refused to turn the fucking heat on. Talk about fucking pathetic. Deputy Coroner Mark Huffman said Stella Chambers died as a result of hypothermia from exposure to the bitter cold inside the home. Some of the windows inside the residence were iced over, and the water in the toilet was frozen solid, police said.

We've got 45,000 Africans dying a month in the Congo, and in America we get one dumb old penny-pinching bitch who wanted to save her 20 dollars a month to go buy more tubes of Fixodent. HOW GOOD IS ALL THE MONEY YOU SAVED NOW, GRANDMA?! Dummy.