Movies Under 10 Dollars You Should Own..Or At Least Watch

Alright, we haven't really followed up on this one, but for some reason this morning on the train I found myself doing the Karl voice saying, "You ought not talk like that..you're just a boy". And if you just did the voice in your head as well, pat yourself on the back, you're a fucking american. Anyways, For those of you that apparently includes Noce, I highly recommend the movie Sling Blade. Billy Bob Thornton (who won the Oscar for best actor in 97'for this movie) gives easily the best performance of his otherwise horrible career (Bad Santa is absolved of any wrong doing).

I'll be honest, the movie is not for those who enjoy a quick pace. I got recommended to watch by my uncle, and after the first 30 minutes I sat there thinking Something...fucking...happen. You must be patient. And the reason you must be patient is Dwight Yoakam character of Doyle Hargraves. I had no idea the motherfucker could act this good.

Before I get into Doyle, here's a brief background on the plot. Billy Bob Thornton plays Karl Childers, a slow man who killed his father when he was younger with (you guessed it) a sling blade. A sling blade is some hick fucking term for a lawnmower blade. Moving on, Karl gets released from the looney bin, and befriends a boy played by Lucas Black (whoever the fuck that is).

Alright, now back to Doyle. Doyle is the boy's mother's boyfriend with a mean streak and is a constant drunk. The performance he gives is awesome. Especially the part later on in the movie when you get to meet Doyle's shitkicker band. Holy fuck that's great. Here's a snippet, and keep in mind the character Terence is in a wheelchair:

Doyle: Now get the fuck out now before I get too mad to turn back!
Terence: What about our instruments?
Doyle: Come here, you little prick. Come here, you little fucking prick!
[Wheels him right into the door]
Doyle: Get out! All y'all, get the fuck out! Come on, you motherfuckers!
[Nobody moves]
Doyle: Get the fuck out! Randy, you tuning son of a bitch, go fucking practice, Randy!
[Noody moves]
Doyle: Come on, Morris, you fucking genius, get the fuck up and get the fuck out of here, Goddammit!

Just great. Like I said, it's a really good movie. If don't buy it, at least watch and tell me what you think

Movies $10 and Under You Should Own: The Lost Boys

Noce and I are kicking around some new ideas with which to pontificate. While reading Steg and Trunk's Ode to Major League, it made me think...movies that you may not have seen that you should own for a reasonable price. Novel fucking concept, I know. With that said, I introduce the first movie 10 bucks and under I present to you, our reader(s):

THE LOST BOYS

CAST LIST:

Jason Patric: Michael
...
Corey Haim: Sam
...
Dianne Wiest: Lucy
...
Barnard Hughes: Grandpa
...
Edward Herrmann: Max
...
Kiefer Sutherland: David
...
Jami Gertz: Star

Corey Feldman: Edgar Frog

It's pretty hard to beat a crazy fucking vampire movie from the 80's with a pretty good cast. Kiefer Sutherland, the leader of the vampires is complete fucking badass. If David told me to drink the blood and be one of them, you're fucking right I'd do it.

The opening scene is great; its an aerial shot of the ocean coming up on the town of Santa Carla near a boardwalk fair. The vampires come, fuck this couple up, drink their blood, and move on. Most likely to play checkers in their layer and listen to Mr. Brownstone by Guns n' Roses.



In comes our introduction to Michael, the main character played by Jason Patric (he of the shitacular sequel Speed 2: Cruise Control) Michael, his brother Sam and his mother Lucy go to live with their Grandpa in Santa Carla after leaving Phoenix for fuck knows what. Lucy gets a job at video store (what a fucking go-getter) where she meets Max, the actual head of the vampires.

Long story short, Michael sees this hot fucking chick named Star at the carnival (as seen above), who is somewhat with David, I guess. He ends up meeting David, and David recruits him to join, which he of course does. Sam realizes Michael is a vampire, and enlists the help of the Frog brothers to kill the vampires. Ass kicking ensues, and the show down between Michael and David makes Jean Claude Van Dam against Tong Po in Kickboxer look like fruit flies fucking on Animal Planet.

I highly recommend you go buy this fucking movie if you don't own it already. It's great, and it comes at the right price: cheap.

QUOTES:

"Death...by stereo"

"How are those maggots? Huh? Maggots. You're eating maggots. How do they taste? (drops container) They're only noodles Michael. How can a billion Chinese people be wrong?"

"Hey, anything around here that might pass for aftershave? How about some Windex, Grandpa? Yeah, yeah, let me try some of that. You have a big date tonight, Grandpa? I'm going to drop my handiwork by the widow Johnson. What'd ya stuff for her? Mr. Johnson?"