Showing posts with label Duhon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Duhon. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Chris Duhon Departs The Bulls

Dear Chicago Bull readers,

It is with a heavy heart that I announce that your favorite Duke alum has packed his bags, and is supposedly heading to New York according to the NY Daily News.

If I may, I would like eulogize the Chris Duhon era in Chicago with a few words.

Ahem.

Chris Duhon was the 38th overall pick by the Chicago Bulls in the 2004 draft and the third of the day which included Ben Gordon and Luol Deng. Upon his arrival, he was as well received as AIDS in Uganda. But despite this, Duhon attempted to make the most of his by playing in 82 games his rookie year, averaging 5.9 ppg and 4.9 apg.

In the years following, Chris may not have been always been the leading scorer or hero of the game, but he usually lead everyone in the poor decision making category, a stat that truly reflects his abilities.

In his 4 years with the Bulls, he scored 2,077 points, and with 34 Lincoln Park sluts.

Chris' shitty attitude, ability to whine about playing time, inability to dribble a round fucking ball, and late night appearences at McGee's on Webster and Sheffield will truly be missed.

While Chris has been the subject of harsh language from myself and Noce over the past four years, we wish him nothing but the end of the bench, genital herpes, and a nasty tumble out of the airplane when he steps foot in the Big Apple.

I think Bob Costas' thoughts on Will Leitch's departure from Deadspin also work in the Duhon case...So long, Fuckhead.

PS: The parade planned in his departure will start down Michigan ave. at 5:30 pm today.

BallHype: hype it up!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

No Words Needed


Please kill yourself.

Monday, March 31, 2008

Tickets Still Available For Chris Duhon Basketball Camp!!


Have you ever wanted to know what it takes to be a shitty, malcontent bench warmer? Looking for some good lines to throw towards women in your favorite Lincoln Park watering establishment? Are you not satisified with your role in HR? Looking for a little more "playing" time with your wife? Unhappy about your contract at work?


LOOK NO FURTHER! Introducing the Chris Duhon Basketball Camp!

With his no I in team attiude, and lackadaisical leadership, Chris is composing an opportunity for you to make millions doing exactly what he does: not jack shit! At this exciting three day course, Chris introduces to some of his moderately successful Duke alums who will give you the inside edge you've been after. For the low price of $199, you'll be involved in such concepts as:


"Playing while hungover; The key to avoid playing time"

Instructor: Chris Duhon

"When and how to bitch effectively"

Instructor: J.J. Redick

"Attactrating the Ladies: What to do when not gifted with good looks"

Instructor: Mike Dunleavy


"Hunger; an effective way to box out the buffet"


Instructor: Sheldon Williams


"Talent: what to do when you don't have any"


Instructor: Steve Wojciechowski


"Extreme Sports: Flying by the seat of your pants"

Instructor: Jason Williams

This is just a sampling of some of the great courses you'll learn to underachieve in life. But if you act within the next week, you can take part in a speical one time only class taught by Chris himself!!

The art of the strip tease:


Here's some of the future dates coming up in a shithole near you!

- July 9-13th, Slidell, LA

- July 16-20th, Durham, NC

- July 31st-August 3rd, Chicago, IL

For Ticket Information, visit http://www.chrisduhon21.com/ for more!


BallHype: hype it up!
Google