And With The 1st Pick in the 2008 NBA Draft, The Chicago Bulls Select...

Pam Beasley, Dunder-Mifflin.

TIRICO: Blah Blah Blah Pam Beasley, Dunder-Mifflin. Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah (with gusto) Jay Bilas, Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah

BILAS: Well, the Bulls decided to go Beasley here, and it's pretty easy to see why. Let's talk about the obvious strengths that Beasley brings:

1. The 90 WPM. Hard to debate someone who can draft up a memo in seconds instead of minutes. With that ability to communicate, the Bulls front office is going to be more connected. What does that mean? Tyrus Thomas will have no excuses for not getting new practice times. John Paxson will have his latte with skim milk. Larry Hughes will have his prostitutes waiting in his limo immediately after the game. Drew Gooden will have a barber. All good things point to Beasley with getting this team back on track to the Eastern Conference Championship.

2. Cultured Ideas. Do you think Derrick Rose would have instuted the Finer Things Club for Memphis? Ideas like this will get this me-first team to blend into one, which is exactly what they needed last year. Let's not forget this team is only a year removed from a 49 win season. They needed to think outside the box here, but it looks like they had box on their mind all along.

3. Her Sense of Humor. The Bulls have had a recent history of rough starts on the road due to their early season West coast trips in November. They've needed more than a post presence is a good laugh or two at Chris Duhon's expense. Will Duhon be back next year? The signing of Beasley to make him the brunt of her gags says yes.

TIRICO: Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Beasley. Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Bulls Blah Blah Blah. Stephen A, Blah Blah Blah Blah?

STEPHEN A.: ARE WE BEING SERIOUS HERE? YOU TALK ABOUT A NEEDING A POINT GUARD, NEEDING A POST PRESENCE, AND THEY GOT SOME WHITE BITCH TO ANSWER THE PHONES! YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS! IT'S OBVIOUS THEY COULD HAVE GONE WITH THE HOMETOWN KID. IT'S OBVIOUS THEY COULD HAVE GOTTEN A BEAST. YET THEY GET A BITCH?! YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS! WHERE'D MY CHEESE DOODLES GO! IS STEPHEN GONNA HAVE TO SLAP A BITCH?

TIRICO: Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah, Miami is on the clock.

Paxson Can't Pull The Trigger until 0:01 on anything

It appears that Mr. Clutch himself, John Paxson, waited until there was no time left on the clock for the 2008 trade deadline and then launched up a prayer. The prayer resulted in a 3-team

trade involving Chicago, Cleveland and Seattle that went down like this:

Bulls get:

Larry Hughes

Drew Gooden

Cedric Simmons

Shannon Brown

Cavaliers get:

Ben Wallace

Joe Smith

Wally Szerbiack

Delonte West

Joe Smith

Future 2nd round pick from Chicago

Sonics get:

Ira Newble

Adrian Griffin

Donyell Marshall

Let's not forget the most important thing, never again will we see this:

And on the 8th day, John Paxson rested. I never thought I'd be so happy to pickup Larry Huges and Drew Gooden.