Stick a fork in 'em

See that picture? Wondering who it is? I'll give you a hint, it's not Heath Ledger. It's the 2007-2008 Season for the Chicago Bulls, figuratively that is. The team that was everyone's favorite to not only win the Central Division, but the entire Eastern Conference is officially buttfucked now that Luol Deng is apparently going to be 'shelfed' for a 'significant amount of time'.

I wonder what is hurting Luol more, his achilles or his ego? This is a very McGrady-like move and not one I would expect from a player who had been all about the good of the team until this season. Maybe you should have taken the $57.5 MILLION that the Bulls were offering before the season started, Luol.

It's obvious to anyone who has watched him play this year that his mind has not been focused on basketball. Against the Grizzlies on Monday, Deng played his worst to date; taking bad, off-balanced shots on offense and falling asleep on defense. Where's the potential All Star that was supposed to come into his own this year and help lead this team?

And don't even start blaming this all on Scott Skiles. All he did was take a team that was 4-12 after 16 games in 2003-2004 and turn them into a 47-win team in 2004-2005. Skiles did the best with what he had to work with.



I'm sure he had plenty of low-post plays that would have worked very well but who's going to fucking execute them? Aaron Gray? Gray may be a suprise talent but lets face it, he's too slow to get back on defense and is not nearly what LaMarcus Aldridge could have been for the Bulls. I think it's safe to say the Tyrus Thomas experiment is a bust. Again, he's a good young talent, but beyond dunks and the occasional block, what good is he?

I'm sick of looking at the lineup the Bulls have on the court and immediately counting out two players because they possess zero offensive skills. That's exactly what happens when Ben Wallace and Thabo Sephalosha are out there. You just cannot count on them to score. Thabo has shown signs that he can put the ball in the hoop, but he is prone to turnovers and that just doesn't help when you have Ben Gordon chucking up shit from anywhere he can't get blocked and Kirk Hinrich looking to dribble like he's on a fucking AndOne Mix tape.



And why is it that Hinrich hasn't figured out that Ben Wallace can't do shit when given the ball? He's the only one who still consistently passes to Wallace, and it's not even when he has an open shot. Anyone who give the ball to Wallace when he is further than three feet from the hoop should be benched. If they run out of people, bring someone in from the fucking stands who can figure out that he is a complete fucking idiot on offense and should never be passed to.

Fuck this season. Fuck John Paxson and his "eye for talent". Fuck Ben Wallace for taking a huge shit on this season. Fuck Kirk Hinrich. Fuck everyone but Andres Nocioni and Joe Smith - they're the only two players this year who have shown up and earned the money they have been paid. So help me God, if Paxson fucking trades Noce, I will take a shit on the United Center. I'll bend down, spread my cheeks, and drop a turd on the fucking sidewalk.

It was all supposed to be so good this year. Now there's nothing left to do but watch these assholes and become even more angry.

Thoughts on Pippen's Comments

"It's his shot selection. You take those bad shots, you're sitting down. He's out there shooting for a contract. Offensively, they can be as good as last year. But their shot selection is horrible. [Luol] Deng also is playing for a contract. There's no flow to their game."

- Scottie Pippen on December 30, 2007

Pippen then proceeded to, in all his infinite basketball wisdom, take the floor for the Helsinki ToPo for two games against the Honka Playboys and Porvoon Tarmo and went 2 for 16 from beyond the arc. Overall, Pippen shot an anemic 29% in the two games, averaging 10.5 points and 8 rebounds in 26 minutes.

Talk about poor shot selection. How can you possibly justify your comments toward Gordon and Deng and go and jack up threes all night against a bunch of Scandanavians? What the hell are you even doing playing basketball still anyways Scottie? Most people move on to tennis or golf after a long career in professional sports, you've decided to visit a place that (how the fuck do you really make fun of Finland?) [insert joke here].
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"I'd sit down with him and say, 'Show me you're a winner and play like it. Not with those crazy antics. Make your hustle work in a positive way.' He's turning into Rasheed Wallace with the kinds of things he does on floor. It makes the officials turn on the whole team. And you stop getting calls. Don't shoot those ill-advised shots. Don't look to get bailed out by the refs."

-Scottie Pippen on Andres Nocioni

First of all nobody sits down with Noce. They either take a charge from him or get lost in his locks of amazing Argentine hair. Noce has been the ONLY player this season on the Bulls who can honestly say he's gave his all. Turning into Rasheed Wallace? What the fuck does that even mean Scottie? Seriously how much weed did you smoke before coming up with that gem of knowledge?

The Bulls would be ten games better if they had Rasheed Wallace on this team. And another comment about ill-advised shots from 'Scottie too Hottie'. Someone should tell him that Noce is leading the Bulls in adjusted field goal percentage at .490, something I'm sure Pippen has no clue whatsoever of even what that is.


Side note: ^ AFG%: Adjusted Field Goal Percentage = [(PTS - FTM)/FGA]/2
AFG% measures shooting efficiency by taking into account the total points a player produces through his field goal attempts. The intention of this adjustment is largely to evaluate the impact of three-point shooting. For example, if Shaquille O'Neal has 3-5 FG, all two-point shots for 6 points, then his AFG% = [(6/5)]/2 = .600. Meanwhile, if Ray Allen is 2-5 FG, but his 2 FGM are both three-pointers for 6 points, then his AFG% = [(6/5)]/2 = .600

It would be best for the Bulls and for Pippen if Scottie disappeared back to whatever Las Vegas nightclub he emerged from before all this retarded speculation about him becoming the next head coach. Pippen would be the absolute WORST person to coach this team, has no experience coaching whatsoever, and is obviously about as smart as the offspring of Elijah Dukes and Tila Tequila.

Leave the basketball comments to people who know what they're talking about Scottie, enjoy the weather over in Scandanavia and try not to confuse snow from blow.