Just when I was finally coming to terms with the nightly trainwreck that White Sox broadcaster Darrin Jackson calls "work", the Sox are going to up and oust him from his perch inside Ken "Hawk" Harrleson's nest and replace him with Chicago's go-to baseball guy: Steve Stone.
DJ is supposed to be the "color" guy (not colored guy you racist assholes) but he often loses his train of thought during one of his pointless diatribes and reverts back to aimlessly stumbling over even the most pedestrian statistical references.
Jackson and Hawk, notorious homers, have been known to go long portions of innings without uttering a word, and when DJ finally tries to interrupt the awkward silence, he usually says retarded things like his thoughts on how the DH allows pitchers to throw inside more to lefties during home games.
DJ also has managed to change his manner of speaking to imitate Hawk's Southern draw and it only makes him that much more annyoing, especially when he opens the broadcast with his patented "Howdy folks" line. It's usually at that point when I chug an entire beer to get myself towards his level of thinking.
I think Stone would be a nice change of pace to DJ's usual pointless banter because Stone does have a lot of knowledge about the game. I worry that he and Hawk will have a lot of bumps in the road along the way though, because both are very opinionated people and Hawk can be somewhat of a jackass at times.
I'm curious to see how this will all play out, because I know that Hawk does like DJ and they do have the power to say whatever they want on air, at least it seems like it because they talk about some stupid shit sometimes, so if this turns into and ugly feud you might hear some of Hawk or even DJ's thoughts on the matter during another meaningless Brian Anderson at bat.
Some jackass Cubs fan caught Carlos Quentin's homerun in the fourth inning last night, and decided to throw it back on the field. Upon doing so, security gladly came down and informed him that we don't tolerate that shit on the south side. He was ejected. White Sox fans rejoiced, and then back to the ass kicking on the field. Talk about a satisfying series after last weekend. You take 3, we take 3. Everyone can go home happy.
Back to the more important things such as cushioning the game and a half lead in the Central. The Sox play seven at home this week (3 with Cleveland, 4 vs. Oakland) start with Gavin Floyd tonight.
The Cubs are in San Francisco for 4 games, then to St. Louis for the weekend. That is all for now. Dr. C + Smoke break = Good idea
I've suffered many injuries in my life. I've broken my left femur as a running back (fuck you Carol Stream Bill George youth football team), broken my ankle, shattered my forehead and nose..the list goes on. However, I have never gotten hit in the head with a line drive. Have I gotten a drive in the back? Yes. That happened last year while we were playing home run derby. Never turn your back to the hitter when shagging balls. But that was a friend of mine who hit me; not a major leaguer.
Enter Griffin Cox (that is not him in the picture to the right, just some other goofball who caught one in the face), a 9 year old from Glen Ellyn in the western suburbs who was at the June 4th White Sox game vs. the Royals:
Griffin, just out of 3rd grade, and seven other members of his Mets baseball team were taken to the game by their coach. They had clustered around the edge of the left field lower deck hoping to snag foul balls. They didn't notice an incoming ball.
Ed Kemp, Griffin's coach, said he saw the ball at the last second. He said it hit Griffin with a loud crack.
"He yelped an 'Ow,' but that was it. He said it just hurt a little bit," Kemp said Thursday. Stadium security directed Kemp and Griffin to the nearby White Sox dugout where catcher Toby Hall picked up the boy and brought him to the trainer. Players were just returning from batting practice and surrounded the boy, Kemp said. A trainer and a nurse found no obvious sign of injury, and sent Griffin back to the seats with signed bats, balls and an ice pack, Kemp said.
After Griffin Cox was hit..., the 9-year-old basically shook it off, continuing to play baseball with his Park District baseball team in Glen Ellyn.
But four days after that June 4 game against the Kansas City Royals, Griffin began vomiting and felt bad, his father said. Visits to Central DuPage Hospital revealed a small fracture on the right side of his skull and a larger one on the left, including a brain fluid leak, his doctor said.
When the ball hit, it made a huge 'crack.' I said 'Oow,' " Griffin recounted.
Holy fuck is that one tough little son of a bitch. Great news is that if they do need to perform surgery on him, it should be low risk and provide a 100% chance of recovery.
Griffin, you are a man among boys. When I broke my leg I screamed like a fat person chained to a post just feet away from an all day barbecue. We wish you a full recovery, and may the story of your scars bring you lots of broads in the near future to come.
About two and half weeks ago, we informed you about fights within the White Sox locker room involving players and even various members of the media through our source inside the White Sox. As Noce commented:
The fight w/ Teddy G and "Farmio" as he is apparently called is because Greenstein was ripping into Farmer's broadcast skills with his new partner Steve Stone. Apparently Farmio didn't appreciate the constructive criticism and told Teddy he could put his yamakah up his blue-blooded ass. I guess Teddy stood his ground and now they legitimately hate each other.
I have not seen anything about in print from Teddy. That is, until today in his ranking of Chicago's broadcasters:
Sox radio: B (last year: D)
If you can't work with Stone, you can't work with anyone.
It took Farmer some time to realize that the star of his broadcast team was sitting next to him. He apparently had grown so accustomed to trampling over Chris Singleton that it became a habit.
More and more, Farmer seems to get it.
(On Stone) And he's unpredictable. After a catcher was nicked by a foul tip, his leg possibly going numb, Stone invoked the name of Barry ("Tryin' to get the Feeling") Manilow.
Too bad Farmer stepped on his punch line.
Ok, it's not Mariotti vs. Ozzie, but Teddy certainly did get his jab at Farmer in. The Sox look to sweep the Bucs today at 1 with pregame coverage on at 12:30. While I don't expect Farmer to say anything in the pregame about it, I have a feeling he might find a way to address it at some point soon during one of the broadcasts. If anyone happens to be listening to the game on the radio and hears something, let us know at chicagobullblogspot@gmail.com
And if you have anything in general, email us. We haven't gotten too much email since we had our battle royale with the clefties. Think Noce is gay? Email Us. Think I should use the word Fuck more often? Email Us.
You don't really give a shit about Cubs vs. Rays or Sox vs. Pirates do you? Neither do we. So with the Sun-Times' scribe Chris De Luca releasing his all-city team, we decided to show you our picks.
I haven't been to a Cubs-Sox game, but mainly for the reason that I don't want to get arrested. I don't want to be that guy who gets in a pissing match. Don't get me wrong, I want to go sooner then later to one these crosstown rivalry games; but I just know that I'm going to go there with full intentions of just watching the baseball game. Then I'm going to be seated next to some jackass, be it a Sox or Cubs fan who feels the need to start shit with the other teams fan base in the section. A few Miller Lites later, punches start getting thrown and I end up in handcuffs.
I know this will most likely happen.
That's why I generally just watch the game at bar or with my buddies who are Cubs fans, because the only thing that eventually happens are disputes, which generally ends in accusations of being a terrorist. That's the way our friends are.
So without further adeiu, Dr. C and Noce's all-city team.
CATCHER: GEOVANNY SOTO, GEOVANNY SOTO 1ST BASE: DERREK LEE, DERREK LEE 2ND BASE: MARK DEROSA, MARK DEROSA 3RD BASE: JOE CREDE, JOE CREDE SHORTSTOP: RYAN THERIOT, ORLANDO CABRERA LEFT FIELD: CARLOS QUENTIN, CARLOS QUENTIN CENTER FIELD: REED JOHNSON, REED JOHNSON RIGHT FIELD: JERMAINE DYE, KOSUKE FUKUDOME
MIDDLE RELIEF: CARLOS MARMOL, BOONE LOGAN, MATT THORNTON / SCOTT LINEBRINK, MATT THORNTON, BOONE LOGAN SET-UP MAN: SCOTT LINEBRINK / CARLOS MARMOL CLOSER: BOBBY JENKS / BOBBY JENKS
MANAGER: LOU PINIELLA / LOU PINIELLA
As you can see, were both pretty like-minded on the infield. Soto is younger and has better power numbers, though AJ is having a good year so far batting .301. His RBI's would be higher if he didn't have to hit in the two-hole.
Despite Alexi Ramirez' hot bat recently, we both took DeRosa because we feel he's a better overall hitter. We take Crede for his defense and great April, and me personally well, I don't want the pig man on my team. Plus Noce thinks Crede is the guy you want at the plate down a run with two outs and a runner in scoring position. One word to describe him: clutch. Theriot is my pick at short, and with his average it's easy to see why. Noce went with Cabrera's defense (even though Cabrera had to call Noce to make sure no errors were in this post) and his finally coming around with the bat.
In the outfield, I'm taking Jermaine over Kosuke. I know Fukudome is quicker and plays better defense, but I think Jermaine has been in situations that Fukudome hasn't been yet in the majors, and is suitted to help in a postseason run. You can put either in there and argue.
Our pitching rotations are set 1 thru 5, with my rotation including Lilly, while Noce wants Vazquez. I picked Lilly because he's looked better then Vazquez has in last couple starts, and I like to go R-L-R-L-R as opposed to Noce's R-R-L-R-R.
The bullpens are equal; with Noce going with Marmol in the eighth. I subscribe to the Lou Piniella get Marmol in as soon as the situation is critical. Plus, Linebrink has justified his 19 million over 4 years contract, thus far.
We both go Jenks, though Noce originally had Kerry Wood. I was stunned when he typed that, but he rethought that one out.
For manager, we'll both take the cranky old bastard. Ozzie is too much of a roller coaster, but that's not to say Lou couldn't turn that way if the Cubs lost six in a row. Having never lost more than two in a row keeps Lou docile, but he seems to have his team do exactly what he wants, while Guillen has no clue what to expect.
That's our all-city team. Feel free to put your changes on what you would put out there if you like. I was hoping there was some more fight footage in Wrigley/Comiskey, but all I could come up with was this:
And even though I'm a Sox fan, I found this on there and thought it was funny. Yes, you will have many more hot girls at a Cubs game then you will a Sox game, but I have seen hot girls at Comiskey, so don't believe this bullshit. But I still find this funny.
No I'm not dead. I've been in god awful all day meetings for the past 3 days, so to break the drought I'm just going to offer some thoughts on what's been going on. First off, I put this picture up because I'm not a huge Brian Anderson guy. Nothing I have against him, just not sure that he's really going to do anything in the majors consistently enough to earn a spot in the outfield. That being said, I fully appreciated his effort on going for the triple last night in the 12th inning. As Hawk said during the game, it took a perfect throw to nail him, and that's what the Royals got. If he makes it you have one out and a runner on the third. My kudos of the day goes to BA for that one.
I managed to stay up to the 13th before I finally decided that if I stayed up to watch them lose I would have been really pissed. Sox need to sweep tonight heading into the 3 game series with Minnesota that they need to keep morale going. With all the shit that's been going on they need it.
We have an excellent source in their lockerroom (I'm seriously not shiting you), and I guess there's been plenty of fights in there as late, including the media as well. The combatants? Teddy Greenstein from the Tribune and Sox play-by-play man Ed Farmer. I'll have to get details on what happened, but that's seriously funny.
The fucking Penguins shit the bed as I hoped they would not have, and now Noce is 20 dollars richer as a result. After watching them pretty closely during the postseason, I was convinced they had enough offense to over come the Red Wings. Not so. Fuck you Pittsburgh.
While I was watching the Sox game, I also flipped on the Cubs from time to time. Lilly had a mean change-up working. I love the fact that he came into season with a slow start and all the Cubs were calling for him to get traded on the Sports Am talk shows. How do you feel about that now? Well, streaks over douchebags. Back to reality.
NBA Finals Predictions: So I've been in a bad luck streak with betting Noce, and that will probably continue going into the NBA as well. I bet Noce during the before the Conference semifinals that the Lakers wouldn't win it all. I get Spurs, Pistons, and Celtics for 10 bucks, he gets the Lakers for 20.
I fucking hate Boston. But for the next week and a half, (sigh) Go Celtics. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go wash my mouth and fingers with soap.
If you've spent any amount of time reading this blog, I'm sure you're aware of how critical I am of all the shit that Kenny Williams does. From Todd (I thought a 6 ERA was a good thing) Ritchie and David (Feed my fat fucking face NOW!) Wells to David (well my work here after a month is done) Aardsma and Andrew (the no strike) Sisco kid.
But, the man also done many things right (ie Freddy Garcia, Scott Podsednik in 05'). The latest thumbs up? Carlos Quentin. A first round draft pick that didn't materialize in Arizona A guy who came in off of shoulder surgery that no one had in the starting line-up before spring began, let alone be in the top five of almost every statistical AL hitting category. Just look:
I think you can account at least 7 wins alone because of Quentin. Outside of him, Crede's good start in April and Jermaine, you're pretty much looking at the same offensive production as the 07' White Sox all over again. Thome couldn't hit a beach ball right now and is 4th in the AL with 52 strikeouts. There's absolutely no reason for him to be in the line-up when the Sox are facing a lefty. Konerko's hand has been hurt, and can't do much of anything with it. New additions Nick Swisher and Orlando Cabrera haven't done jack shit. Juan Uribe is...Juan Uribe. The same piece of shit he has been in the past 3 years.
While I'm off on a tangent here, you know I'm sick of hearing? "These guys will come around..they're professional hitters."
Save me the guff, you fucking apologists. Konerko is on the down side of his career, and Thome is pretty much done. After this year, be rid of them.
Alright, where was I? Ah yes, Carlos Quentin is a fucking champ. Even though some of the White Sox scouts have been eyeing the team's bank account more then the talent, they definitely got this one right.
Kenny, as much as I get pissed off at you, and probably will again soon; hats off to you pal. Bravo.
In life, I think one of most important things is to be modest. While it's good to have high expectations, you should understand that sometimes things don't work out like you want them to. Did I want to be a all-pro runningback at the age of 11 and play in the NFL? Sure I did! What happened that year? Some little prick from Carol Stream broke my fucking femur on a counter play. End of NFL dreams for Dr. C.
I mention this story to you because before this season began for the Chicago White Sox, I was cautiously optimistic. I knew bringing in Nick Swisher and Orlando Cabrera would make the team better, but good enough to win the division? Certainly not, I thought. Still, a better year than last year was all I hoped for. And to this point, I have not been disappointed at all. Here they are, 24-20 and in first place none the less.
Now, there is a flipside to this. There are certain people who are greedy. They like to believe that no matter what happens, there's always something that needs to be fixed. Two people that quickly come to mind: my ex-girlfriend and Kenny Williams. While the obvious physical comparisons go out the window fast, their mentality on life is one in the same. Here's what Kenny has to say about the season so far: For example:
"I can't stop thinking about what is now 10 [more] games we should have won," he said. "And I'm not talking about anything extraordinary, I'm just talking about playing the game the way it should have been played. The positive thing is we are where we are, but it is far less than where we should be."
Shit happens, Kenny. Move on.
"I guess it's better than second," Williams said. "Seriously, congratulations. But it's still far short of where we should be.
Maybe so, but this team was picked to finish where they did because of how they performed last year, and the fact that their old asses are getting older everyday. Start fucking enjoying this shit, Kenny.
That's why the picture above is up there. Has nothing to do with anything. I just enjoy it for what is. Now it's your turn with your product on the field.
It's no secret that your 2008 Chicago White Sox are an aging bunch. Thome will be turning 38 this year, Dye's 34, Konerko's 32, and A.J. is 31. The core of this team will be soon be depleted, and outside of Josh Fields, they aren't too many prospects left with all the trades that have taken place to make the show. But, if you read this article yesterday from Chicagosports.com, then it's an obvious tip of his pitch what Ozzie wants from Kenny Williams in the near future:
"Who cares about Britney Spears? But she's on TV everyday. Why do think people give a shit about Jose Conseco? That shit sells".
Ozzie doesn't just want someone with a cannon to unleash on runners, but someone who will also eat the remains after blowing them up. Without further adeiu, I present some of the new prospects Ozzie's eyeing soon to be wearing the silver and black:
Charles Manson, RF
Sure Charlie's been in the pen for awhile. But he's due for parole in 2012, which is right around when the Sox will finally give up on the Jerry Owens experience. Charlie will be in the upper 70's at that point, but if Minnie Minoso can get on the field in the 70's, I'll put some coin down that Charlie can, too. Plus, he's been working out hard in stockyard weight bench. And he's been staying put so he's fresh.
Ozzie's take: I like Manson. He can hit ball goood, he a real leader. He come into clubhouse and make the younger guys respect him and do what he say.
Johnathan Lee Riches, 2B
When he's not suing Michael Vick for $63,000,000,000 Billion for his ties to Al-Qaida, or suing Jeff Gordon for $22,000,000,000 Billion for tying him to a bumper at Talladega, Johnathan Lee Riches is stealing left and right. He too will have his parole up in 2012, and with the lack of stolen bases on the year, Ozzie like what he hears.
Ozzie's take: We no have speed on the bases right now. We need play Ozzie Ball. This kid not only can steal, but he crazy as shit. That why everyone talks about him. I think he fit this fuckin' team perfectly.
Mike Tyson, DH
Does it get any crazier then a man who can hit a ball to Bolivian? At 41, he's in right in the Jim Thome age range, but doesn't pull the ball as much and can actually hit lefties which proves to be an immediately upgrade. When he's not on the white, you can expect in on the White Sox soon. Possibly by Sunday.
Ozzie's take: When you get a guy like Mike Tyson who's fucking crazier then me, then you say something. You say, if you throw inside on him, he gonna bit your fucking ear off. I would no throw inside him. That for fucking sure. Maybe I get him to punch that faggot Mariotti in the face.."
/Buehrle enters dugout after getting shelled by the Twins to the tune of 5.2IP, 9H, 7R, 7ER
(Innermonologue) MOTHERFUCKER! HOW COULD I THROW SUCH DOGSHIT TO A SHITTY NO-NAME TEAM! FUCK! First Jamie said no more sex until I get a win, and now this. FUCK!
(Enters Dugout)
The FUCK you looking at, Space Heater?! Yeah you, MOTHERFUCKER! WHAT..ARE..YOU..LOOKING AT?! I'm talking to you! Do you know who I am? You fucking know damn well who I am! I'm the guy who barely reaches 88! I'm the guy with a beard from St. Louis! I'm guy sexually depraved for the past month! FUCK YOU!
(Silence still from the Space Heater)
No acknowledgement?! FUCK IT!
(Grabs Juan Uribe's bat)
Uribe: NO USE BAT! NO USE BAT!
Buehrle: Fuck off, Juan! LAMA MIS BOLAS!
(Starts beating the shit of the space heater to no avail)
Buehrle: Aww...Fuck it. I can't even beat a space heater. Wish I had a heater. All I can do is throw batting practice.
Uribe: Buuly..Can you teach Juan hit like that? Juan no see nothing like that in long time.
Buehrle: Forget it Juan. Va la cogida su madre.
Uribe: Juan forget to speak spanish. Juan no know what means.
Buehrle: I SAID GO FUCK YOUR MOTHER!
Uribe: That no nice. Juan go listen to Grandpa Contreras talk Octopus
(Buehrle exits, Uribe inspects Space Heater for Clues)
(Uribe Innermonologue) Man, Juan take home and think this one out. If help fastball hit, it worth shot...
The funny thing is, Slezak wasn't even at the fucking game in Toronto and yet she still felt the need as a woman, and as a "journalist", to call out the entire organization.
"I'm sure the players' moms, wives, sisters and daughters are really proud of them. Way to go, guys. And just so we're clear, the tired ''boys will be boys'' excuse no longer works."
I'm sure that the players' moms, wives, sisters, daughters and even their girlfiriends on the side could give two shits about what goes on in that locker room, because they're probably out spending the money that these guys are making for being pro ballplayers.
They're not working for the Peace Corps here for Christ's sake, they're baseball players, not priests. Hell, if they were priests they probably would have sprung for the 12-year-old boy doll complete with salty tears.
Downey points out the glaring hypocrisy of Slezak's words displayed on the same page as ads for hookers and other sleazy (not Slezak but I like where your head's at) smut that the "Chicago Scum-Times" runs on a daily basis.
"Sensitivity training" was one of the things the White Sox obviously need, according to the Sun-Times, the home of ads like this one in its Tuesday's sports pages:2 Girls—At Once! Feel the Youth."Schoolgirlfun.com took out that ad. I guess it must be part of a Sun-Times campaign to support girls doing their homework together for school."
Ouch. Do you hear that? It's the sound of the Tribune rubbing the Sun-Times' collective face into a huge pile of shit that they call a newspaper.
I don't see the harm in what the White Sox did with the blow up doll.
Sure they could have waited until they were within the confines of their own stadium, but honestly, is that really that offensive to women? It can't be nearly as offensive toward women as this is.
In other news both the Sox and the Cubs lost. Puppies are cute, the sky is blue and Vince Vaughn just got done snorting lines off of a 17-year old Russian prostitute named Svetlana. Now THAT'S how you offend women.
About Dr. C: Dr. C is a graduate of Southern Illinois University. He spent 4 years there as a Sports Anchor/Director. After deciding he didn't want to cover rodeos working 50+ hours a week making 20K in Buttfuck, Montana he decided to return home to Chicago. Dr. C is a real nickname he goes by for claiming to have a Ph.D in bullshit. He can remember phone numbers from people he met 15 years yet couldn't tell you your name back to you after having been introduced. If he could be sponsored by anything in life, it would undoubtedly be Jack Daniels.
About Noce: Noce is a graduate of the University of Illinois. He was the sports editor there for the Daily Illini. As you may have guessed, he's a huge Bulls fan, and spends most of his day on Blog-A-Bull. Noce also enjoys Crab Rangoon. He will expand on this later when he's not lying in bed hungover at this moment.
About StalkingErinAndrews: Stalkingerinandrews wasted his money at the University of Illinois, attending for a few years but never earning a degree. He enjoys long tractor rides, barbecue grilling, and spending time with children. (His own brats, not someone else's.) He is a true homer, being a fan of most Chicago area teams, with the inclusion of the Illini being the obvious exception. He has to go now, his wife just said "Blah, blah, blah, get off that damn computer! I need blah, blah, blah."
