Weekend Sendoff

Well shit, that game sure sucked. There's nothing to do now besides get home, get drunk and get the weekend started. I came across a funny video today and the song made me flashback to the late 90s, when rap was still cool. Check out the Iraqi kid video and if you want the full song, it's right there below. Noce out.

A Documentary on the 08' Cubs Season Titled "We Believe?"

I Believe I want to Hurl.

How many more lame ass slogans have to be thrown out before the start of every Cubs season? Where does it end? How did last year's "It's gonna happen!" turn out? The only thing happened was a first round sweep by a feast or famine team who became a bunch of skinnys from Black Hawk Down thanks in part to the D'Backs.

As Cubdom would douchingly have it, the preseason hype gone from ridiculous to worse:

A documentary on the '08 Cubs with the working title "We Believe" has begun production, and the Oscar buzz is unmistakable. According to Mark DeRosa, all the Cubs need is to write a happy ending, like, say, end the 100-year drought.

Producer/Director John Scheinfeld whose most recent documentary was "The U.S. vs. John Lennon" approached Cubs management last year to gauge interest in a project about the franchise and it's relationship to Chicago

Umm..Didn't I just recently see some dumb fucking documentary voiced by Dennis Farina entitled Wait Til' Next Year on HBO? Yup. Same focus. Same everything.

The Cubs won the World Series in 1908. They went to World Series seven more times thereafter and lost. Then came the Billy Goat in 45'. They haven't been to the World Series since. The collapse of 69'. Steve Garvey. Steve Bartman. Mark Prior/Kerry Wood. All punches to Cubdom's collective groin.

Boo Fucking Hoo. The broken record of sorrow is getting to the point that I almost want them to win. Note the emphasis on almost. It would be nice just to be done with all this never-ending bitching. But that wouldn't be the little on engine on the North Side who couldn't after all these years. And if they did win, it would just switch the bitching to bragging of "Who just won a title, bitch! High Fucking Five, Bro!"

Call it my south side bias, or whatever other bullshit you want. I call it a marriage between Sox fans and Cubs fans. We can't stand your fans for all the crying you do, and you can't stand us because according to you, we're second-rate trash. However, we stay in our little relationship despite all the name calling, fighting and douchebaggery because of the city. But I'll be damned if I'm sleeping in the same bed with you my nagging, blue-bleeding wife. Til' Death do us part, and Til' next year you can continue to wait.

I'm Back From the Dead...And The Hawks Are Too?

Yes friends, the Doctor is in fact alive. I haven't been around rape/blogosphere after being infected with I would consider the 28 weeks later virus. I had a fever of 104 on Wednesday which sent me seeking fellow practioner advice. Sitting in the ER for 2 hours before getting seen along with plenty of illegals does not a good day make. Anyways, enough bitching. I'm back to full force, and apparently I'm not the only showing signs of life lately. So when did the fucking Hawks decide scoring goals early and often is actually a good idea? I havent been watching the past couple games, but with scores of 7-2, 6-1, and 2-1, I'm liking what I'm seeing. There's no doubt Johnny Toews is apart of what's happening since returning, but that Byfuglien character has been playing lights out. After milling around the old internets, I see the Hawks are even trying to lure Peter Forsberg out of the woodworks with a 3 year possible deal. Good and Good.

Well, there's not shit going on outside of that. I would comment on the Daytona 500, but I doubt anyone gives a shit about that outside of me and one of my buddies, so I'll spare you the report. Although I will say Ryan Newman fucking blows. Kinda reminds me of Baby Huey meets Matt Painter's retard cousin. Also, quick note to one of our favorite readers/commenters Stalking EA, I will post the submission for ESPN Member Douchebag you sent us very soon. Even if it is about 3 weeks later on. The way I see it, better late then never!

We'll have some Spring Training shit for you soon, though I doubt we even need to comment on the Cubs. Let me do theirs real quick. They start slow, every Cub fan in Chicago bitches. They come back with a good May-June, lead the division. Everyone wants to blow each other. They make it to the playoffs, actually win their first series only to get their sorry asses handed to them by the Mets. 101 years and counting. Wait til 09' starts immediately thereafter. Did I forget anything?

Breaking News: Dempster Dooms 2008 Cubs

Sometimes it really pays to work for the company that owns the worst organization in all of sports. I was forwarded this interesting little nugget today that's sure to make it's way around the blogosphere faster than Brady Quinn can yell "FAG!". Well played Dempster, I'm sure this will work out well for you in the long run.


Dempster: Cubs will win 2008 World Series
By Paul Sullivan, 12:39 p.m.

MESA, Ariz. -- Ryan Dempster did his best Carlos Zambrano impression on Wednesday, saying he expects the Cubs to end their 100-year World Series drought this year.

____________________________________________________________________

Dempster's actual words:

"I think we're going to win the World Series, I really do. I wouldn't come here and worked as hard as I did, and everyone worked as hard as they did, to not believe that. I think it's funny when people make predictions or they say things and people are like, 'Oh, how can you say that?

You believe it. You really do. Enough of all the b.s., and the curse this, the curse that, the goat, the black cat, or the 100 years (without a championship). … Whatever it is, we're a better team than we were last year, I truly believe."

For more on this awfully hilarious prognostication, the full article can be found on the Tribune's "Hard Ball" Blog. Oh, and in case any of you were wondering, this is coming from the man that posted the following numbers in 2007:

Dempster went (2-7) in 66 games with a 4.66 ERA and a whopping 55 strikeouts. I'd say that gives him the right to go ahead and give the guarantee. We'll have more on this tomorrow.

Welcome Back Lieber

The Cubs signed 37 year-old righty Jon Lieber to a one-year $3.5 million dollar contract today, because apparently Jon wants to be able to afford to buy another huge ass truck someday soon.

Lieber last pitched for the Flubs from 1999-2002, and was 20-6 with a 3.80 ERA in 2001, somehow finishing fourth in the National League Cy Young voting that year. He compiled a 48-36 record in 121 starts for Chicago, which pretty much makes him the most reliable Cub pitcher in the last 10 years.

Cub general manager/heart attack death waiting to happen Jim Hendry had this to say about the acquisition, "We're trying to get as much volume as we can, depth-wise, in the rotation to make it more competitive in camp. We're trying to accumulate as many quality pitchers as we can. We think he adds a lot still to our club."

The addition of Lieber to the potential starter list that includes Carlos Zambrano, Ted Lilly, Rich Hill, Jason Marquis, Ryan Dempster, Sean Marshall, Sean Gallagher and Kevin Hart should make Cubs fans pretty bonerific, but remember, it's the Cubs we're talking about here. They could fuck up the chances of nailing even the drunkest of sorority sluts.



I think I like the black Kevin Hart better (not really but you get the idea) but according to Hendry, the "Great White Hart" can pitch. Personally, I don't trust anyone who comes from Maryland.


I still say the Cubs' rotation is mediocre at best. Beyond Zambrano, who is prone to being a complete fucking idiot at times, only Ted Lilly really looks like a consistent productive starter. Jason Marquis likes to throw BP-like pitches and Sean Marshall can serve up the efice with the best of 'em. It's a good thing you have all those bats to put up runs for those lame arms.