Where The Fuck Is Mr. Brown?

As you may or for most of you may have not noticed; we haven't been blogging. Why? (for the seven regular readers of this site) I'm currently job seeking. So how about Noce posting? Ask him (actually don't..he'll ask you what he should write about and then do nothing about it!) I will tell you this much though: I will continue to blog (how much I do, I promise I will let know what to expect), but it will not be during the work day (once again, depends..if the job sucks, fuck it!). When I came up with the idea to start this shit, it was my contention to hopefully provide similar chicagoans with a forum to spew their A: hate B: sorrows or C: relate overall discontent with how we see things and the ways we would hope as logical self-owners to deal with these problems.

As part of my new ideals for Chicago Bull: If I was looking to read a Chicago sports blog, I would list this as the credentials for why I would want to read it; and this is what I hope we as your editor strive for:

A: To not provide with what you already know: We the writers, expect you as the readers to already know the breaking news. You probably don't check our site for breaking news. Therefore, we should provide you with bullshit jokes. I.E.:

-Joakim Noah has been suspended for 5 games for pot! He's hoping with this next batch of weed brownies to:

A: sit out for another 5 in hopes to catch up with Parental Control on MTV!
B: Speaking of MTV: Learn how Chris Brown decorates his crib with fashionable shit so that he might be up to par in case the producers come calling like they did with Kendall Gill!

-Where are they now? Chris Willaims: Rehabbing or sniffing coke with Gary Busey speaking about Freddic Mac? We'll give you 50-1 odds on the latter! You just never know with these Vanderbilt grads! They have some serious connections!

In other words, we'll probably give you our assertions from time to time as to what we think will happen; but at the same time, do you really look at us for analysis? FUCK NO! WHY WOULD YOU?! Granted, we are educated (though I may not prove it with my hold on grammar). But, as my new goal for this site, it's our aim to fuck with everything and everyone. We might be serious sometimes, but when you spend most of your time at McGee's on Sheffield and Webster taking fucking jager shots, it's hard to form full sentences.

For those that have been checking in with us, I promise to provide with above average jokes, and by that I mean 76%. At least I'm not to the point of pedding porn because I'm such a shitty writer like some people...

Happy 1st Birthday

My, how time flies when you're either drunk or pissed off at Juan Uribe. Today is Chicago Bulls' first birthday, and I couldn't think of anyone better to toast to it other than the official woman of the 'Bull, and the only person to have have his own sidetab for a couple months which we sometimes kept up with (notice he's staring at the cake. That was not by accident).

We already gave our blogger circle jerk to everyone when we recently hit 50,000, so no need for that. Thanks to all who read this site, and try to understand my terrible use of grammar. So with that said, enjoy Modern Love by David Bowie.

What About Ben?

By StalkingEA

Here we are, a little more than a month from the start of training camp, and there is still no resolution in sight for Ben Gordon. In case you've been under a rock this off-season, Ben is a restricted free agent, which means the Bulls have the right to match any tender offer that another team signs him to. No other teams have offered him a contract.

Gordon wants to be the highest-paid Bull, since he is the led the Bulls in scoring over the last three seasons. That would put him in the $13 million range. The Bulls have $8 million in cap space, and have offered him a 1 year qualifying offer of about $6.4 million, which he won't even consider.

So now what? Ben is obviously not happy with the way the Bulls are handling this, but what leverage does he have? Does he go play in Europe, like Josh Childress did? OK, but that might help the Bulls by clearing part of the log jam at guard, and keeping some cap space free. Does he sit out a season? Not likely, as that would lower what he could get in a contract in the highly competitive NBA. Do the Bulls work out a sign and trade? Now you're talking!

OK, so they sign Ben to a contract he's happy with and then trade him to a team that can afford to pay him. Great! But wait, there's a reason that hasn't happened yet. Who's going to take him and give the Bulls some value in return? Memphis can afford to pay Ben, but what do they have that the Bulls want? Marc Gasol? Not gonna happen. On to the next possibility:

Andrei Kirilenko is Utah's most logical bargaining chip, and Chicago might be interested in him, although he plays a lot like Deng and Nocioni. It's possible the Bulls might feel they were duplicating talent by adding Kirilenko.

This is a pretty interesting article. The writer goes on to say that both teams would probably have to add more pieces to make a deal work, but I don't think the Bulls want to get into a major trade here. Besides, he's right, AK-47 plays the same position as Deng and Nocioni, and Coach Vinny already has a juggling act at guard.

What the Bulls need is to find a team with a big man, a center. The problem is, they just aren't out there. Zach Randolph is available from the Knicks, but his contract is enormous and he doesn't play defense. The previously mentioned Grizzlies have Darko Milicic, but they'd have to package more with him. I just don't see any deals out there that the Bulls would make.

I see Gordon signing maybe a 2 or 3 year deal for around $7.5 - 8 million per, just because he doesn't have another option. This will be a significant raise, but not enough to keep him happy. Look for the Bulls to then try to trade him during the season, when some other team realizes they need a scoring punch. I like Ben, he's been a quality player for the Bulls. I just wish there was a good way to keep him happy. I'll root for him as long as he plays here, and I'll wish him well if he goes. Just not if he plays against the Bulls.

Bulls Waive JamesOn Curry; Curry Gets Pissy

By Stalkingerinandrews

Word came out of the Berto Center today that the Bulls have waived JamesOn Curry. Bulls GM John Paxson said, “With the 1st overall pick of Derrick Rose and the large contract that comes with that pick, and the contract extension we just gave Luol Deng, we just didn’t have anymore room on our roster for an impact player like JamesOn.”*

Curry averaged 20.2 ppg, 5.6 apg, and 3.2 rpg with the Iowa Energy of the NBADL, and could hold down a bench in the NBA like no other. He was second on the Bulls with 15.6 standing ovations per game.**

Joakim Noah was seen with a tear in his eye, and overheard saying that no one could find the good stuff like JamesOn could.

Curry was understandably pissed when he was told of the news.

So long, JamesOn. I wish I could say we’ll miss you, but we never saw you play a minute in the NBA. It will, however, be difficult to replace your bench presence.

*John Paxson may not have actually said this
**May not be an actual stat

Jamar Smith: Too Much Drinky

From Stalkingerinandrews

Jamar Smith turned himself in at the Champaign County Jail early Tuesday afternoon on a warrant for his arrest stemming from a petition to revoke his probation.

Such a waste.

Jamar Smith showed a lot of promise at Illinois, leading the Big Ten in 3-point shooting as a freshman. Now, he’s just a douchebag. What kind of a man (and I use the term loosely) leaves his “friend” to die in a car after a crash? Another female student had to call an ambulance to come rescue Brian Carlwell, but this was after Smith drove the car back to his apartment complex.

Whaaaat? You crash, your “friend” is badly injured, but you drive home and leave him in the car? What a piece of crap!

But, I’m venting on an old story. Jamar Smith violated his probation by drinking alcohol over the weekend. Doesn’t almost killing someone, let alone a teammate and supposed friend, open your eyes?

Doesn’t the threat of losing a promising basketball career make you look at the straight and narrow?

Smith is a crucial part of Illinois' prospects for the next two seasons. The coaching staff and teammates consider him to be the team's best player, and his shooting prowess was sorely missed as Illinois struggled to a 16-19 record last season. If Smith is not allowed to return to the team, the Illini figure to be in for a struggle once again.

So you not only tank your career, but an entire team’s season, just to have a few drinks on the weekend. Brilliant. Technically, he’s not off the team yet, but I fully expect it to happen by the weekend.

Actually, I think I want him off the team. If he’s not going to show any respect or remorse towards the U of I and his teammates, maybe he shouldn’t be there. Even Champaign area fans don’t want him on the team anymore. Good luck, Jamar, and have a nice time in jail, where they will be scoring you by the 3’s.

The Cubs Are Worth How Much?

Courtesy of Stalking EA:

To this point, they have marketed the ballpark experience -- the sunshine, the ivy, the liquid refreshments. And it has been a huge seller. It's why analysts say a sale of the Cubs and Wrigley could bring $1 billion.

One Billion Dollars!

Even if the Cubs do win the World Series this year, I find it hard to believe they are worth that much more than the 2001 sale of the Boston Red Sox. They sold for $660 million, more than twice the Cleveland Indians sale of $320 million the year before.

Let's compare Boston and the Cubs for a moment. With the Red Sox, you get Fenway Park, one of the most storied baseball parks in the country, not unlike Wrigley with the Cubs. The problem with Wrigley is the major renovations the park will need. As they say, she ain't what she used to be. Will a new ownership group take the attendance and revenue hit that comes with possibly playing a season in another park, like Milwaukee or the Cell, while Wrigley is rebuilt?

What about Boston's other big asset, NESN? That's the North Eastern Sports Network for those who don't know. The Red Sox own that network, are broadcast exclusively on that network, and it was a part of the package deal. The Cubs own a 25% share in Comcast, but hell, they don't even broadcast all of their games there.

The Cubs' payroll is just over $118 mil, which is less than Boston's $133 mil, but the Cubs' will balloon to about $150 mil next year with back loaded contracts. I still don't see where someone will pay more to spend more.

Is the aura and mystique of a team that hasn't won in 100 years enough to push the selling price of the franchise into the 10 digit range? I think not. I could see the Cubs going in the $700 - $750 million range, due to inflation and attendance records, but 50% more than the Boston Red Sox of 7 years ago? The Cubs just don't have the assets that Boston has.

Here's the interesting part: The Cubs say their cash flow was $31 million last year. Somebody is going to spend $1 billion in order to have a relatively skimpy $31 million to throw around?

If Mark Cuban or one of the other interested groups wants to pony up $1 billion, more power to them. I just don't see how a deal for that much money will pay up in the end.

Announcement

First off, the busty blonde to the right is a friend of mine. She was a Luvabull a year ago, and now she models all over the place. Nevermind the Ben Wallace shirt. Oh, you didn't notice? Good, neither did I.

Second, We wanted to get some different voices on Chicago Bull, so we asked reader/commenter/correcter of my terrible use of the English language Stalkingerinandrews to contribute. StalkingEA will post when he feels like, and today he's a little concerned about Mr. Rose. Take it away, StalkingEA:

A Plea to Derrick Rose

Wow. My first actual blog post. This is such a magical time when a lowly commenter becomes a lowly blogger...Wait, what!? I'm putting myself on Buzz Bissinger's hate list? Does this mean my wife is kicking me out and the only available room is in my parents basement? Crap. Ah, the days of last week when I was just a commenter making wise-ass remarks on various blogs. *sigh* Good times. (Editor's note: for future reference, attempting to be less gay when writing will supremely enhance the quality of your posts. - Noce)

The rest of this post is aimed at Derrick Rose. If anyone can get him to read this, by all means please show it to him.

Derrick, the city of Chicago already loves you, and you haven’t even played a game yet. We all have high hopes for you and the Bulls, and we want you to bring as much success as possible to yourself and Chicago.

That being said, please stay out of any more trouble. Just go to your court date, ask for leniency, and never get on the wrong side of the law again.

We here in the Chicago area have been plagued by star athletes who just can’t stay out of trouble, and we don’t want to see you go down the same path. Scottie Pippen was caught with a gun in his car, Lance Briggs crashed his Lamborghini and ran away, Cedric Benson can’t drive anything motorized while sober, and Tank Johnson’s crimes are too numerous to list here, just to name a few.



While your 106 mph speeding ticket was minor compared to these, nobody wants to see you progress to anything worse. Now, I realize it’s fun to put the hammer down on a machine that will take it, especially out in the country. Hell, I live not too far from where you got stopped. If you really want to come out my way and test the limits of some car, I know stretches of road where the cops won’t be. Just let me know.

But for now, please, PLEASE, just lay low, play some ball, and work on bringing some joy to Chicago and Bulls fans everywhere. Thanks, Derrick, I know you’ll do the right thing.