Death...By Fold-Out Couch

Don't you hate having to sleep on a fold-out couch? I'm sure whoever came up with the invention thought it was a good idea at the time, but really it's a fucking torture chamber. Just ask this guy in St. Petersburg. Well, actually I guess you can't now considering he's colder then Heath Ledger. From Reuters:

- A Russian woman in St Petersburg killed her drunk husband with a folding couch, Russian media reported on Wednesday.

St Petersburg's Channel Five said the man's wife, upset with her husband for being drunk and refusing to get up, kicked a handle after an argument, activating a mechanism that folds the couch up against a wall.

The couch, which doubles as a bed, folds up automatically in order to save space. The man fell between the mattress and the back of the couch, Channel Five quoted emergency workers as saying.

The woman then walked out of the room and returned three hours later to check on what she thought was an unusually quiet sleeping husband.

Emergency workers said the man died instantly.

Kinda reminds of Megadeth's 99 ways to die. Good song.

2008: A Bad Year To Be Named Heath

NEWBERRY, S.C. -- College offensive lineman Heath Benedict was found dead in his Florida home Wednesday night, apparently of natural causes, according to broadcast reports.
Two television stations in Jacksonville, Fla., reported on their Web sites that homicide detectives were called to Benedict's home about 7 p.m. Wednesday. When they arrived, they found Benedict, 24, dead on his couch.

Police told the television station they did not suspect foul play, drugs or alcohol in Benedict's death. Benedict's body was taken to the medical examiner, according to the TV report.

Benedict, a native of the Netherlands, transferred to Newberry, an NCAA Division II school, for the 2004 season after redshirting at Tennessee as a freshman in 2002. Sporting News' Draft '08 guide ranked Benedict (6-foot-6 and 335 pounds) as the ninth-best player at the guard position in this year's draft class. He was projected as a fourth-round selection.

The Next Heath to go?

Heath Shuler, Former Redskin Killer and current North Carolina congressman Odds: 4-1

Heathcliff Slocumb, relief pitcher and 1 time all-star. 990 time Coke user. Odds:3-1

Heathcliff the Cat, Garbage enjoyer and bastard version of Garfield. Odds: 8-1