True Stories from the Graham Correctional Center...

It all started on a fun night back in October 2008. When you're an eight ball deep, it always seems like a great idea to steal that asshole's 1992 Mercury Cougar. I mean, fuck him; that car is a piece of shit! He should be so lucky to have me steal it and drive into lake shabbona 40 miles away. He gets the pay out on insurance! I get a good chuckle...win win.

That was until an unmarked DeKalb County Sheriff just decided to stick his nose into a perfectly fine ride at 95 mph. What an asshat. Mind your own business.

After a year and a half of making bones, getting boned, and eating shitty food I'm back damnit. And there's a lot I missed, apparently.

WAY TO GO, HAWKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

More to follow

The Bet: Purdon't vs. Illinois

As Noce nervously watched the shitty graphics on FightingIllini.com show a round headed, rhombus-shaped Chester Frazier make a lay-up with 4 seconds left followed by a Penn St. miss, he of course was jubilant.

As he stood up shaking his fist while no one else gave a rat's ass in the office, I wanted to bring him back down to earth by reminding him that Purdon't is probably going to kick the Illini's ass tomorrow. His response? "They're not as good as everyone thinks they are".

With his kool-aid cup in hand, I began to hear the opening to Money by Pink Floyd with all those cash registers going off. As the Roger Waters bass line kicked in, I immediately struck back with:

Dr. C: Alright then put your money where your mouth is.

Noce: How much?

Dr. C: 54 Mexican Pesos

Noce: 5 dollars it is...how many points are you going to give me

Dr. C: 3 points

Noce: That's it?

Dr. C: If you're so confident you should have no problem taking it

(Shakes my hand while I laugh in the back of my mind)

So there you have it. Tip-off tonight is 5:30 only on the Big Ten Network. It's the face-off between two former SIU head coaches, both of whom I had the privilege of covering in college.

Usually I don't really care for Purdon't because there's nothing I can really find to like about it. Seriously, what does Purdue have to offer other then ugly broads and an Engineering degree? Nothing. But that all changes tonight as I cheer for the Black and Gold.

My final score prediction: 78-71 Purdue

Noce's final score prediction: 67-63 Illinois