Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Greenstein: North close to joining WLS

Continuing from our previous post on ChicagoBull's favorite morning loudmouth, Teddy Greenstein is reporting today that Mike North is close to agreeing to a deal with WLS-AM 890.


WLS-AM 890 is on the verge of tendering an offer to former WSCR-AM 670 morning man Mike North, according to an industry source. But the source said North, with his eyes on another potential deal, might decline it.

The morning slot at WLS has been occupied by "Don Wade & Roma" since 1985. The hosts' contracts are up in November.
comment.


I tried checking the Sun-Times to see if they have dug up anything but at usual, they've got nothing but another column from that asshat Jay Mariotti. Will someone please tell me who reads his columns? I'd like to meet some Mariotti fans - if there are any - and ask them a few questions.

Anyway - back to North. I checked on his website and there was no news of his move over to WLS so I guess we'll just have to play the waiting game.

I hope he finds somewhere soon - and I wonder if the show will stay the same as it was on WSCR. As long as Jen Jen is still there, I'll be a happy man.
Lets end this one on a high note - Jen Patterson ladies and gentlemen.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Bears ink Kevin Jones to 1-year deal


The Bears signed RB Kevin Jones to a 1-year deal (in case you didn't read the headline) today, rounding out their Mazda Protege-like offseason free-agent group that also includes such players as Marty Booker and Brandon Lloyd.

Jones, fresh off a knee surgery that scared most teams away, will try to fill the void left by Cedric Benson. So really, a 10-yard run on his first carry from scrimmage and he'll pretty much be seen as a good signing.

The weird thing is, and thanks to Pro Football Talk for pointing it out, head coach Lovie Smith has said all along that the Bears were not looking to add a veteran back to make up for the loss of Benson.

The move conflicts with coach Lovie Smith’s subsequent comments, during which he said that the team had no plans to add a veteran tailback to replace Benson.

“We don’t have any plans to do that,” Smith said. “From Matt [Forte’] to Adrian Peterson to Garrett Wolfe, to P.J. Pope, Matt Lawrence, we like all of our players and those are the ones that we’re going with.”

Whether it was a smokescreen aimed at keeping Jones’ asking price low or the result of a fears that Forte’ won’t be ready to be the Week One starter as a rookie, the team has changed course, dramatically.


So now not only do they have a quarterback controversy that's about to explode with the rumors that GM Jerry Angelo is interested in the Bucs' Chris Simms, they also have a clusterfuck at RB. This is what happens when you let the incomprable douche Ron Turner run what is supposed to look like an "offense".

I've had to deal with Turner's retarded logic for too many years now, going back to when he took the reigns of a promising Illinois team and ran it straight into the ground by recruiting and signing something like 14 quarterbacks in three years.

It was rumored that Turner had seven QB's all on full scholarship when he was fired in 2004 after back-to-back stellar seasons of 1-11 and 3-8. One of those seven was Jon Beutjer. Enough said.

I don't know why the Bears picked him up for a second go-around but this is a guy who sports an anemic 35-57 (.380) record as a head coach and so far has failed to produce anything that would remotely be considered an offensive attack.

I could rant on Turner for hours but I'd just end up angry and right back where I started - me at work upset and Ron Turner douching away probably on some golf course. Ron Turner is the type of guy to play every out of bounds as a lateral hazard, knowing full well he's shaving a few strokes off his usual score of 94.

What was the point of this post again? Oh yea Kevin Jones, see that about sums it up right there - who gives a shit? Add another broken wheel to this already fuming truck and lets get excited about an 8-8 season.

Pineapple Express Song, although European, still pretty cool



I'm sure by now you've seen the trailer to Judd Apatow and Seth Rogan's upcoming new realease titled Pineapple Express. From what I've seen so far, the movie looks like it's got some potential. Express co-star James Franco, fresh off his role in the amazingly lame Spiderman series, appears to finally be part of a movie that doesn't completely suck. I kinda like him though he could be the next Brad Pitt - just throwing that out there.

Anyway, the song from the trailer is pretty fucking cool and I managed to find one that didn't have the embedding disabled in YouTube so check it out. The artist, M.I.A., is British by way of Sri Lanka and I'd say about a 7 outta 10. She does get bonus points for rocking the Ride the Lightning t-shirt though, that is impressive.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Weekend Fuck Off



I know Dr. C likes to call this little segment the 'Weekend Sendoff" but I'm the Captain of this ship for the next few days and if you haven't already noticed, I'm a little more cynical than my good buddy. Today you get the weekend 'Fuck Off'.

It's for everyone - you readers (seriously what the hell are you doing reading this site? Have you run out of things to Wikipedia?), the people in my office who are incompetant fucking retards and have about two ounces of working brain matter, and especially to my girlfriend's girlfriend for getting knocked up - which subsequently forced my girlfriend to go with this dumb slut to get the unwanted fetus aborted this morning, successfully cockblocking me for an entire weekend.

Anyway, since I'm already pissed off today because of my stupid job, I figured I'd give you guys a nice little metal song to listen to because listening to it on repeat is the only thing that's currently keeping me from taking my desk chair and throwing it out my 10th floor window onto Michigan Ave.

I have been listening to a steady dose of 'More Human than Human' by White Zombie but that's just not quite hardcore enough for bullshit days like today.

I'll spare you the boring details about my ass-backwards sales job and let you enjoy the only thing good to ever come out of Germany besides Octoberfest and Dolph Lundgren.

For those of you sadists, I'll be here next week posting away my thoughts on everything from the NBA (naturally), the White Sox, and if you're lucky I'll bust out an ESPN Member Douchebag that puts all the others to shame.

So eat shit fuckers, I'm spending the rest of the day at my desk thinking about when I can have my first beer.

Quick Programming Note


I'm off to the annual vacation in Michigan as of tomorrow, and I'll be back posting as usual on Thursday when I return to this magical cubicle. Speaking of posting...do something you cunt rags. Anyways, if you don't see any posts from here til then, you'll know why. Hopefully Noce will keep you entertained. He'll have your weekend send-off pretty soon. Also, the boss is leaving at noon, so you'll probably have a post or two thereafter. That is all for now. Fuck shit cock balls.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Reuters Just Keeps Giving The Goods


A post about the two great comebacks by the White Sox this past two days? Meh. A post about the Cubs signing their first pick in the draft? Not really.

A post about a drunk who decides to become a firefighter? Now were fuckin' talking!

Firefighters called to a blaze at an apartment building in a southern German town were astonished to discover a fully equipped extremely drunk imposter in their ranks, police said on Thursday.

On hearing the alarm, the 38-year-old man had rushed to the fire station, was helped into protective clothing and helmet by unsuspecting firefighters and boarded the fire engine, a spokesman for Suedhessen police said.

After arriving at the apartments, firefighters quickly realized the man was an imposter and called the police, he added.

"When fire breaks out, it's all hands on deck!" the man told officers when questioned about his motives. He was released without charge after sobering up overnight in a police cell.


When a fire breaks out, it's all hands on deck. When a fight breaks out in the White Sox dugout, it's all hands on Orlando Cabrera. Good Job Contreras. It's the first hitter you've held in check all year.

Death...By Fold-Out Couch


Don't you hate having to sleep on a fold-out couch? I'm sure whoever came up with the invention thought it was a good idea at the time, but really it's a fucking torture chamber. Just ask this guy in St. Petersburg. Well, actually I guess you can't now considering he's colder then Heath Ledger. From Reuters:

- A Russian woman in St Petersburg killed her drunk husband with a folding couch, Russian media reported on Wednesday.

St Petersburg's Channel Five said the man's wife, upset with her husband for being drunk and refusing to get up, kicked a handle after an argument, activating a mechanism that folds the couch up against a wall.

The couch, which doubles as a bed, folds up automatically in order to save space. The man fell between the mattress and the back of the couch, Channel Five quoted emergency workers as saying.

The woman then walked out of the room and returned three hours later to check on what she thought was an unusually quiet sleeping husband.

Emergency workers said the man died instantly.


Kinda reminds of Megadeth's 99 ways to die. Good song.
Google