Thursday, December 13, 2007

NFL Week 15: Thursday Night Football

Tonight the nation will happily forget about the shitstorm that hit Major League Baseball today and remember that football is way more exciting. The NFL would never let some asshole from Boston fuck everything up with a pointless report that will accomplish nothing in the end. That dude would be dead if he even started investigating into NFL. Dead.

Anyway tonight's game will feature a battle between the Denver Broncos (owned by Homer Simpson) and the Houston Texans (worst team name ever). I know a lot of people have been whispering this lately but I'm not afraid to come out and say it: Mario Williams is a legitimate #1 overall pick from the 2006 NFL Draft. Williams is an athletic freak and he is going to prove it to the Nation (well at least those who have the NFL Network) tonight against a stout Broncos line.

Another reason I'm happy about tonight's game is that Bryant "The Oreo" Gumbel will be sitting this one out with a sore throat. Seriously, I can't think of an announcer that makes me more angry with constant errors and overall just awful attempts at sports knowledge than Gumbel. Go back to the Today Show so dumb housewives can continue to be brainwashed in peace.

Oh yea, the picks:


Houston 20 Denver 26

Dr. C.

Houston 13 Denver 17

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