Thursday, March 6, 2008

Witness LeBron Bend Bulls Over

Yup. Looks like a classic Boylan lineup in action.

Tonight is the night that Bulls fans have been waiting for since Ben Wallace was shipped to Cleveland in the deadline trade a few weeks ago. I'd look up exactly when the date was but I'm just not that motivated right now to do anything when it comes to the Bulls. Ok, it was February 21st, are you happy now? Unlike Dr. C who has totally given up, I have still been watching these assholes every game and it's been quite a struggle.

I'm expecting there to be more boos tonight than when the Bulls losing in the Kobe sweepstakes. The first chorus of boos will undoubtedly be directed toward "The Body" as he is introduced in the Cavs starting lineup.

From then on out all the heckling and jeers will most likely be at the Bulls as they allow LeBron to go wherever he wants on the court and completely dominate them all night. I'm also predicting the following to happen:

  • Kirk Hinrich will commit a bad foul on a breakaway and allow the player (most likely James) to score and go for the 3-point play.
  • Ben Gordon will dribble unconsciously into a double team with his head down and either throw it away or chuck up some garbage that has no chance of going in.

  • Jim Boylan will continue to amaze viewers, this time on a National stage, with awful lineup after awful lineup. Look for some amazing "defensive" lineups that include a front court of Andres Nocioni and Drew Gooden. Also, Boylan loves to go to the 3-guard lineup but it's a shame Thabo is out because that totally ruins Jim's buzz.

  • Tyrus Thomas will be lambasted by Bill Walton for being a "bad character guy" and a "dumb young guy" even though Walton probably will find out what happened minutes before the broadcast.

    This will be brought up numerous times throughout the game, pretty much anytime LeBron gets wide open for a big dunk or makes a defender look bad.

  • The Cavs will overcome a double-digit deficit in the second half, most likely due to LeBron taking over the game, and the Bulls will either lose in regulation or in overtime if they're lucky.

  • Scott Skiles will turn the channel to the game during a commercial break from Lost just as Hinrich pulls his mouthguard out after committing that bad foul on a soon-to-be 3-point play and crack a half smile, making it the closest thing to a laugh in his entire life.

I will be running home from work tonight to catch this game and I expect to be half in the bag right around the 3rd quarter's end, when the score is going to be about 67-60 Bulls.

The only consolation to the mess that will be the Bulls game tonight is an actual competition between two teams with chemistry and equal athletic ability that follows the Bulls game. No, I'm not talking about Kenny vs. Spenny, but that's a damn good show. I'm looking forward to the Rockets vs. Maverick's game tonight, even if the Mavs are without Dirk.

For anyone expecting to watch this game tonight: I suggest you start drinking heavily. Is it baseball season yet?

BallHype: hype it up!


John said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
John said...

The Bulls must be at the play-offs, that all I'm asking for.

Being fan of Chapu Noce, I hope he will deliver them...

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