Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Leave It To An Australian To...

Auction off his pathetic life. Seriously. Not off his life; auction. Because killing himself obviously makes too much sense.

Hi there, my name is Ian Usher, and I have had enough of my life! I don't want it any more! You can have it if you like!," reads his Web site, which has a link to eBay for bidders.

Usher said his life auction, which starts on June 22, included not only his house, a car, a motorbike, a jet ski and a spa, but also an introduction to "great friends" and a job at a rug shop in Perth for a trial two-week period.

For the low price of $385,000 (as of now, and I dont imagine that budging) you can:

A: Take this 44 year old tool's life;

B: Get his shitty job at some fucking rug shop

C: Meet his polesmoking friends

D: Get a house in Perth, Australia that's already furnished with a car, a motorbike a jet ski and a spa.

Question: How do you own that much shit working at a fucking rug store? Why can't the Arabs take on Australia? Why is this motherfucker getting media attention? Why is it considered statutory when she all she said was wait instead of stop?

These answers all elude me.

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