And so begins the era of Del Negro for the Chicago Bulls...pray for us.
"Having played 14 years at the professional level and several more as an executive in the front office, I am looking forward to this opportunity and the challenges that lie ahead as head coach of the Bulls," said Del Negro.
"There are a lot of things to like about this young Bulls team," he added. "My efforts are going to be geared specifically toward getting the best out of each player - whatever their particular strengths may be that make them most successful."
Allow me to translate Vinny's words into what I think he was trying to say:
"Look, everyone knows me for my ability to hit shots from anywhere and my fucking kickass name, but I'm more than just a one trick pony. This job seems like a pretty sweet gig, all I gotta do is a better job than whoever this Boylan character was and I look like the next Phil Jackson. It's win win!"
"My efforts are going to be figuring out who the hell is still on this team once we trade most of these useless fucks away, then try to see if they are actually worth a shit. Strengths? Nobody on this team is stronger than me, I can guarantee that. I've played with that asshole Hughes before and I still don't think I've seen him make a fuckin' shot."
Oh, and just in case you were looking for some clever pun with the new coach's name, sorry but I tried everything I could think of and couldn't think of one that either, A) Hadn't been already used or B) Wasn't racist. You try googling "Negro jokes" while at work, I dare you.
I welcome any puns/jokes/quips in the comments.