Monday, June 30, 2008

Get Your Gulbricking Ass Out of My Beach Community, Lebowski


Some jackass Cubs fan caught Carlos Quentin's homerun in the fourth inning last night, and decided to throw it back on the field. Upon doing so, security gladly came down and informed him that we don't tolerate that shit on the south side. He was ejected. White Sox fans rejoiced, and then back to the ass kicking on the field. Talk about a satisfying series after last weekend. You take 3, we take 3. Everyone can go home happy.

Back to the more important things such as cushioning the game and a half lead in the Central. The Sox play seven at home this week (3 with Cleveland, 4 vs. Oakland) start with Gavin Floyd tonight.

The Cubs are in San Francisco for 4 games, then to St. Louis for the weekend. That is all for now. Dr. C + Smoke break = Good idea

Friday, June 27, 2008

In case you missed it...


The Bulls took hometown stud point guard Derrick Rose with the 1st pick in the 2008 NBA Draft last night.

With a guaranteed salary of $10M+ for his first two years, Rose will be able to buy as much candy and sour straws as he can stomach. As a Sour Punch connoisseur myself, I could only imagine the damage done to my teeth if I could afford such luxuries.

Don't Fuck Up Contreras..Your Weekend Sendoff


Your first pitch is at 3:05 today with the 10-run fourth inning fuckface pitching against Dempster again. Luckily, Dempster is 0-2 on the road this year...if you consider 35th and Shields really being the road. We head back to Stuff White People Like for your music today. 'Inside the Fire' by Disturbed. The video is fucking weird; it's about suicide, and the chick that Nick Swisher David Draiman is dating hangs herself before he comes home. Really uplifting stuff. Get it? Uplifting! Fuck I'm funny. On that note, I'm pulling a Kruger and calling it a day. Enjoy your weekend pricks, 2008 is officially over the hump.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Mike North Fired


The Bookie Priest who is the worst handicapper I've ever heard. Stat Man. Stella around the Town. Kudos of the day. Jagbag. Not knowing the correct names of opposing pitchers. 98% of the time, utter stupidity. That's what I had to look forward to when I woke up for work.

Not anymore.

Mike North has been handed the pink slip by WSCR 670 the Score. When I awoke on Monday morning, I had the sniveling voices or Mully and Hanley telling me to either immediately get up or hit the snooze. That's when I knew it was probably over.

North is a guy who you either love or hate. There's no inbetween, and for awhile, I was not a fan of his. I just couldn't stand him. But after getting tired of yawn and yawn in the morning's I'm a fat tough guy and he's the skinny metrosexual wuss schtick, I went back to North. And I loved it. Someone who actually had some personality, whether you agreed with it or not.

You know Chicago's biggest blowhole had this article penned about about 2 or 3 weeks ago when the radio ratings were released, and showed North was way down against yawn and yawn in the morning. And for only the second time in my life, I actually found myself agreeing with some the joke's points. Yes, he is crude and offensive. Yes, he sometimes sounds like a complete idiot. Yes, he sometimes makes me wonder what the fuck he's rambling on about.

That's why I listen. Becuase it's not prepackaged Disney bullshit with a hint of sports. It's not role playing. It simply is North, for better or worse. Take it or leave it. You don't have to listen to him if you don't want to. I'm going to miss the wwwwwoah button being hit on Monica DeSantis when she fucks up the traffic report, or when Jen-Jen miss pronounces something. Speaking Jen-Jen, let's have her up here. There. That's better.



Though it appears he may be signing on with WLS, I know this much for sure:

A: If the Score moves Laurence Holmes from my drive home on the ME show to the 10-12 spot vacated by Mully and Hanley, I will be extremely pissed...and
B: I will be leaving my CD player on in mornings for now.


BallHype: hype it up!

Buehrle's 1,000th Strikeout Was Technically Difficult


Mark Buehrle as it stands probably ranks as my fourth favorite White Sox player of all-time, behind Robin Ventura, Frank, and Paulie. So as he approached the milestone of 1,000 strikeouts, I was excited to watch. That is, until Buehrle threw a pitch so complex, so amazing, so astounding, that Comcast simply imploded upon his 80 mph of fucking sickness. That's right. No one in Chicago saw it happen. If it were his 3,000th strikeout I would have been really pissed. Problem is, he'll never reach that. Buehrle is not a strikeout pitcher. It's quite the stretch to imagine he'll even hit 2,000. He's already pitched over 1,700 innings in 9 years of work.

It really would have pissed me off if this happen in the last at-bat of his no hitter last year. And really, it's something that'll even if I did see it, I would most likely forget it. But it would have been nice to see a pitch so good that it collapsed a cable broadcast for 30 seconds.

BallHype: hype it up!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

So What Ever Happened to Rich Hill?


It was about a month ago when I pondered aloud if Jeff Samardzija was heading down a similar career path as former Michigan QB Drew Henson in the minors. After seeing yesterday that Samardzija has been promoted to AAA Iowa thanks in part Big Z's elbow, I started to read around and I stumbled upon a name that I, and I'm willing to bet many Cubs fans haven't said aloud recently: Rich Hill.

From MLB.com writer Carrie Muskat:

The Iowa team is a little shorthanded with Sean Marshall set to be promoted on Tuesday to replace Carlos Zambrano in the Cubs' rotation, and Hill being sent to Mesa, Ariz., for some extra tutoring.

Hill will work with Minor League pitching coach Rick Tronerud and pitching coordinator Mark Riggins. The left-hander, who opened the year in the Cubs' rotation but struggled to a 1-0 record and 4.12 ERA in five starts, was 2-4 with a 5.88 ERA in seven games at Iowa. In his last start against New Orleans, he gave up six runs on three hits and four walks and couldn't finish the first inning. He has walked 28 and given up 22 hits in 26 innings at Iowa.


Hard to believe the guy is struggling as much as he is considering some of his stats from last year: 11-8, 3.92 ERA, 195 IP, 183 K, 1.195 WHIP.

If Hill could get back to form quickly, that would provide another bargaining chip for the Cubs to dangle in order to get that #2 guy in the rotation they'll need if they are to make a run deep in October.

While I think it's important to get another guy, I don't think it's as dire a need as maybe others do. Let's face it; the Cubs are not getting Sabathia. What does that leave? The next month will be a telling factor. Could Erik Bedard be jettisoned in his first year with the M's? Seems like their axing anyone who isn't pulling their weight these days (of course that's front office, but who knows what direction they're going considering how shitty they are).

QUICK UNRELATED SIDE NOTE: We haven't done the ESPN Douchbag Members in quite a while. After a couple readers asked what happened to it, I've decided it's making a comeback. That said, help us out!

All you need to do: Go to ESPN.com, and click on one of the main page stories. Below the copy, you'll see a comments section. Click on it, and find the biggest douchebag you can for us to verbally abuse. Send your nomination to chicagobullblogspot@gmail.com

BallHype: hype it up!

Friday, June 20, 2008

Weekend Sendoff

Well shit, that game sure sucked. There's nothing to do now besides get home, get drunk and get the weekend started. I came across a funny video today and the song made me flashback to the late 90s, when rap was still cool. Check out the Iraqi kid video and if you want the full song, it's right there below. Noce out.




I....HATE...DOTEL


Remember this picture? It was from this post. Not once, but twice. Back to Back. In case you were wondering...

FUCK DOTEL
FUCK DOTEL
FUCK DOTEL
FUCK DOTEL
FUCK DOTEL

Boy Fractures Skull Off Line Drive At Sox Game, Replies "Oww"


I've suffered many injuries in my life. I've broken my left femur as a running back (fuck you Carol Stream Bill George youth football team), broken my ankle, shattered my forehead and nose..the list goes on. However, I have never gotten hit in the head with a line drive. Have I gotten a drive in the back? Yes. That happened last year while we were playing home run derby. Never turn your back to the hitter when shagging balls. But that was a friend of mine who hit me; not a major leaguer.

Enter Griffin Cox (that is not him in the picture to the right, just some other goofball who caught one in the face), a 9 year old from Glen Ellyn in the western suburbs who was at the June 4th White Sox game vs. the Royals:

Griffin, just out of 3rd grade, and seven other members of his Mets baseball team were taken to the game by their coach. They had clustered around the edge of the left field lower deck hoping to snag foul balls. They didn't notice an incoming ball.

Ed Kemp, Griffin's coach, said he saw the ball at the last second. He said it hit Griffin with a loud crack.

"He yelped an 'Ow,' but that was it. He said it just hurt a little bit," Kemp said Thursday. Stadium security directed Kemp and Griffin to the nearby White Sox dugout where catcher Toby Hall picked up the boy and brought him to the trainer. Players were just returning from batting practice and surrounded the boy, Kemp said. A trainer and a nurse found no obvious sign of injury, and sent Griffin back to the seats with signed bats, balls and an ice pack, Kemp said.

After Griffin Cox was hit..., the 9-year-old basically shook it off, continuing to play baseball with his Park District baseball team in Glen Ellyn.

But four days after that June 4 game against the Kansas City Royals, Griffin began vomiting and felt bad, his father said. Visits to Central DuPage Hospital revealed a small fracture on the right side of his skull and a larger one on the left, including a brain fluid leak, his doctor said.

When the ball hit, it made a huge 'crack.' I said 'Oow,' " Griffin recounted.


Holy fuck is that one tough little son of a bitch. Great news is that if they do need to perform surgery on him, it should be low risk and provide a 100% chance of recovery.

Griffin, you are a man among boys. When I broke my leg I screamed like a fat person chained to a post just feet away from an all day barbecue. We wish you a full recovery, and may the story of your scars bring you lots of broads in the near future to come.

BallHype: hype it up!

My Boy Got Paid!!!


I own one Chicago Bears jersey, and you're looking at it to the right. I had an Urlacher jersey a couple years ago, but I gave to a friend because well...the Miller Lites finally caught up to me. But that is neither here nor there (pick up vegeatables..and no that is not a typo, that's how Andy Dick pronounces it). Docksquad via the Chicago Tribune have found the McCaskey's finally opening up their billfold to pay Tommie Harris a deal worth 40 million over the next 4 years with 18 of that guaranteed.

Thank..fucking..god. As David Haugh points out, this leaves deals that still need to be reached for Devin Hester and of course, #54.

It will be interesting to see how much Urlacher is going to demand now that they've paid top money in the NFL to a position player.

Here's some probabilities that could play out over the summer:

- Hester gets his contract settled within the next month..complete shot in the dark here: 3 years, 21 million, 12 of that guaranteed. Because of this, Urlacher is going to get vocal in the media. The two sides won't agree to terms, Urlacher is even more of a sour ass then usual all season long.

- Urlacher and the Bears reach an agreement just before training camp starts with a deal that both sides know will be reworked just so he will shut up.

- Both players go unsigned; unrest is everywhere including Zimbabwe.

- Kyle Orton finishes a bottle a jack, stumbles into Jerry Angelo's office. Pisses on his fake palm tree and states: givem some fffuckin' pancakes...beetch.

Hard to say how long it will take, but I like the odds on the last scenario. Maybe not Jerry Angelo's office, but perhaps an apartment in Wicker Park..stay tuned.

BallHype: hype it up!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Be Afraid Cubs Fans, Be Very Afraid



"There was a funny pitch that I felt something in my arm, and then the last pitch I threw in the game to Hinske, I dropped my arm a lot because I couldn't go back to the top of my arm." - Carlos Zambrano


Listen for the bell Cubs fans, it tolls for thee...


BallHype: hype it up!

The Teddy KGB vs. Ed Farmer Feud Continues...


About two and half weeks ago, we informed you about fights within the White Sox locker room involving players and even various members of the media through our source inside the White Sox. As Noce commented:

The fight w/ Teddy G and "Farmio" as he is apparently called is because Greenstein was ripping into Farmer's broadcast skills with his new partner Steve Stone. Apparently Farmio didn't appreciate the constructive criticism and told Teddy he could put his yamakah up his blue-blooded ass. I guess Teddy stood his ground and now they legitimately hate each other.

I have not seen anything about in print from Teddy. That is, until today in his ranking of Chicago's broadcasters:

Sox radio: B (last year: D)

If you can't work with Stone, you can't work with anyone.

It took Farmer some time to realize that the star of his broadcast team was sitting next to him. He apparently had grown so accustomed to trampling over Chris Singleton that it became a habit.

More and more, Farmer seems to get it.

(On Stone) And he's unpredictable. After a catcher was nicked by a foul tip, his leg possibly going numb, Stone invoked the name of Barry ("Tryin' to get the Feeling") Manilow.

Too bad Farmer stepped on his punch line.


Ok, it's not Mariotti vs. Ozzie, but Teddy certainly did get his jab at Farmer in. The Sox look to sweep the Bucs today at 1 with pregame coverage on at 12:30. While I don't expect Farmer to say anything in the pregame about it, I have a feeling he might find a way to address it at some point soon during one of the broadcasts. If anyone happens to be listening to the game on the radio and hears something, let us know at chicagobullblogspot@gmail.com

And if you have anything in general, email us. We haven't gotten too much email since we had our battle royale with the clefties. Think Noce is gay? Email Us. Think I should use the word Fuck more often? Email Us.

BallHype: hype it up!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Leading Up to the Cubs/Sox Series


You don't really give a shit about Cubs vs. Rays or Sox vs. Pirates do you? Neither do we. So with the Sun-Times' scribe Chris De Luca releasing his all-city team, we decided to show you our picks.

I haven't been to a Cubs-Sox game, but mainly for the reason that I don't want to get arrested. I don't want to be that guy who gets in a pissing match. Don't get me wrong, I want to go sooner then later to one these crosstown rivalry games; but I just know that I'm going to go there with full intentions of just watching the baseball game. Then I'm going to be seated next to some jackass, be it a Sox or Cubs fan who feels the need to start shit with the other teams fan base in the section. A few Miller Lites later, punches start getting thrown and I end up in handcuffs.

I know this will most likely happen.

That's why I generally just watch the game at bar or with my buddies who are Cubs fans, because the only thing that eventually happens are disputes, which generally ends in accusations of being a terrorist. That's the way our friends are.

So without further adeiu, Dr. C and Noce's all-city team.

CATCHER: GEOVANNY SOTO, GEOVANNY SOTO
1ST BASE: DERREK LEE, DERREK LEE
2ND BASE: MARK DEROSA, MARK DEROSA
3RD BASE: JOE CREDE, JOE CREDE
SHORTSTOP: RYAN THERIOT, ORLANDO CABRERA
LEFT FIELD: CARLOS QUENTIN, CARLOS QUENTIN
CENTER FIELD: REED JOHNSON, REED JOHNSON
RIGHT FIELD: JERMAINE DYE, KOSUKE FUKUDOME

PITCHING ROTATION: ZAMBRANO, LILLY, FLOYD, DANKS, DEMPSTER / ZAMBRANO, VAZQUEZ, DANKS, DEMPSTER, FLOYD

MIDDLE RELIEF: CARLOS MARMOL, BOONE LOGAN, MATT THORNTON / SCOTT LINEBRINK, MATT THORNTON, BOONE LOGAN
SET-UP MAN: SCOTT LINEBRINK / CARLOS MARMOL
CLOSER: BOBBY JENKS / BOBBY JENKS

MANAGER: LOU PINIELLA / LOU PINIELLA

As you can see, were both pretty like-minded on the infield. Soto is younger and has better power numbers, though AJ is having a good year so far batting .301. His RBI's would be higher if he didn't have to hit in the two-hole.

Despite Alexi Ramirez' hot bat recently, we both took DeRosa because we feel he's a better overall hitter. We take Crede for his defense and great April, and me personally well, I don't want the pig man on my team. Plus Noce thinks Crede is the guy you want at the plate down a run with two outs and a runner in scoring position. One word to describe him: clutch. Theriot is my pick at short, and with his average it's easy to see why. Noce went with Cabrera's defense (even though Cabrera had to call Noce to make sure no errors were in this post) and his finally coming around with the bat.

In the outfield, I'm taking Jermaine over Kosuke. I know Fukudome is quicker and plays better defense, but I think Jermaine has been in situations that Fukudome hasn't been yet in the majors, and is suitted to help in a postseason run. You can put either in there and argue.

Our pitching rotations are set 1 thru 5, with my rotation including Lilly, while Noce wants Vazquez. I picked Lilly because he's looked better then Vazquez has in last couple starts, and I like to go R-L-R-L-R as opposed to Noce's R-R-L-R-R.

The bullpens are equal; with Noce going with Marmol in the eighth. I subscribe to the Lou Piniella get Marmol in as soon as the situation is critical. Plus, Linebrink has justified his 19 million over 4 years contract, thus far.

We both go Jenks, though Noce originally had Kerry Wood. I was stunned when he typed that, but he rethought that one out.

For manager, we'll both take the cranky old bastard. Ozzie is too much of a roller coaster, but that's not to say Lou couldn't turn that way if the Cubs lost six in a row. Having never lost more than two in a row keeps Lou docile, but he seems to have his team do exactly what he wants, while Guillen has no clue what to expect.

That's our all-city team. Feel free to put your changes on what you would put out there if you like. I was hoping there was some more fight footage in Wrigley/Comiskey, but all I could come up with was this:



And even though I'm a Sox fan, I found this on there and thought it was funny. Yes, you will have many more hot girls at a Cubs game then you will a Sox game, but I have seen hot girls at Comiskey, so don't believe this bullshit. But I still find this funny.

Friday, June 13, 2008

R Kelly is thinking...


"Can I borrow that camera of yours for an hour? I have to bring this young lady to my tour bus for some..uh..snacks..yeah, snacks...chocolate snacks and refreshments..."

"I want to piss on you...yes I do, drip drip drip"

"You're a little too big to bump and grind"

"No, I don't work for Little Debbies"

Your Weekend Send-off



I give you Dire Straits, Money for Nothing. To this day it still remains one of my favorite music videos. Fucking awesome. Have a good weekend, and remember not to punch your girl in the ovaries after that second eight ball.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Like Chicago really needed another "Vinny"


And so begins the era of Del Negro for the Chicago Bulls...pray for us.

"Having played 14 years at the professional level and several more as an executive in the front office, I am looking forward to this opportunity and the challenges that lie ahead as head coach of the Bulls," said Del Negro.

"There are a lot of things to like about this young Bulls team," he added. "My efforts are going to be geared specifically toward getting the best out of each player - whatever their particular strengths may be that make them most successful."


Allow me to translate Vinny's words into what I think he was trying to say:

"Look, everyone knows me for my ability to hit shots from anywhere and my fucking kickass name, but I'm more than just a one trick pony. This job seems like a pretty sweet gig, all I gotta do is a better job than whoever this Boylan character was and I look like the next Phil Jackson. It's win win!"

"My efforts are going to be figuring out who the hell is still on this team once we trade most of these useless fucks away, then try to see if they are actually worth a shit. Strengths? Nobody on this team is stronger than me, I can guarantee that. I've played with that asshole Hughes before and I still don't think I've seen him make a fuckin' shot."


Oh, and just in case you were looking for some clever pun with the new coach's name, sorry but I tried everything I could think of and couldn't think of one that either, A) Hadn't been already used or B) Wasn't racist. You try googling "Negro jokes" while at work, I dare you.

I welcome any puns/jokes/quips in the comments.

Bear Down...Your Beer!


While I've never been one of those people who loves to exploit celebrities/famous athletes while they're out on the weekends, I couldn't resist with this one.

This picture, taken by a friend who shall remain nameless, shows Bears LB Lance Briggs out and apparently doing his best Rampage Jackson impression.

As you can see by the time stamp, Lance was out around midnight last Friday, I think at Stone Lotus, which is the kind of bar that attracts suburbanites, the occasional celebrity and anyone willing to drop around $20 on a Red Bull and vodka.

I'd like to know if Lance was winking on purpose to signify the assumed blowjob or if he was just so blitzkreiged, he had no idea what was going on.



I'm just happy that Lance's recent night out didn't end up like it did about 10 months ago.

On the other hand, that one, seemingly harmless accident did account for the adoption of the greatest two word saying for a drunk driver: Lance Briggs!

I don't know if I'd ever have the stones to pull a real Lance Briggs!, but it would sure be hilarious to see the look on the cop's face if I did. I imagine it'd go something like this.

Officer: Sir you were swerving all over the place and driving way too fast, do you have an excuse for yourself?

Me: Um...Lance Briggs!

Officer: Oh, well then you're free to go. Just leave your car here and we'll clean this mess up for you. I think you can still make it before last call if you hurry, have a good night kid and keep up the good work.


BallHype: hype it up!

The Funky Old Piniella?


Move over Super Bowl Shuffle. There's a new terrible singer in town, and his name is Louis Victor Piniella. From the fingers of Tribune Cubs Beat Writer Paul Sullivan:

As they began their three-game homestand Tuesday night against Atlanta, the Cubs had the National League's top-ranked offense, its top-ranked pitching staff and its only rapping manager.

Manager Lou Piniella revealed he actually rapped while shooting a TV commercial promoting the upcoming City Series against the White Sox. Is America ready for MC Lou?

"I'm a rap star," he said with a grin


In the words of the Church Lady, well isn't that special. Lou could end up making Jim Jones sound like Jay-Z.

BallHype: hype it up!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

That Feeling is Back Again



"I'm telling you man; Salaam is going to be awesome. The guy ran for over 2,000 yards and he didn't even play a full NFL season. He won the Heisman."

Fast Forward.

"I'm telling you man; Curtis Enis is going to be different. He had 36 touchdowns and over 3,000 yards in 3 years!"

Fast Forward.

"I'm telling you man; Cedric Benson is going to be a beast. He ran for a 1,000 yards in each season at Texas."

And here we are now to the same sentence we always fall back on: "Fuck that loser". In fact, those were the exact words my mom texted to me yesterday when she saw that the Bears finally decided to cut their losses with the fourth overall pick of the 2005 draft.

Fuck that Loser. Fuck Salaam, Enis, Benson; Fuck'em all.

I ask of you; which was the most disappointing to watch? Salaam had over a 1,000 yards and 10 TD's in his rookie season, which is more then the other two can boast. Enis improved in his second season with over 900 yards though he only had 3 TD's that year. Benson's best? 674 yards on 196 carries. 3.4 yards per carry. For all three backs in their last year wearing the Navy and Orange, none of them averaged better then 3.7. Fucking Pathetic, and Benson was the worst yet.

Although Matt Forte is not a first round pick, he was chosen high enough (#44) to be considered one. Add to that the burden of being the number one option for a team that couldn't run block consistently. I can hear the lavish praise in my head now on the CTA in just a matter of weeks:

"That Forte kid looks good. He's much better then Benson. Did you see that preseason run he made against the Colts?

I've officially given up with expecting anything from any offensive player the Bears draft. Any position, you name it. Chris Williams? Wait til week 5 when you think he's the second coming of Marc Columbo. When he false starts two times in a row at Green Bay just like Stan Thomas.

Earl Bennett and Marcus Monk? All I hear is David Terrell and Airese Curry.

Give it up, Chicago. While it's nice to think about winning the lottery, fucking that gorgeous blonde who lives across the street or the Bears having a great quarterback, you're going to wake up with 3 crumpled dollars in your wallet next to the ugly bitch who won't stop complaining your alcohol consumption as you watch highlights of Grossman throwing another interception.

I'm not really that bleak about this upcoming season; but a team that finished 7-9 did not get that much better this offseason. I think it's for better to get rid of Benson, and I'm not sad to see him go. He took too much for granted, and reaped what he sowed. I'm of the opinion that he could still do something in his career if he wakes up and realizes what he has to do to be good. Just not in Chicago.

Here's to hoping the Bears can pull off the same suprise to the season that baseball team on the south side has accomplished.

BallHype: hype it up!

Monday, June 9, 2008

Now That's a Google Ad



I was on the Truth and Rumor's portion of CNN/SI.com when I saw this google ad below the Cedric Benson post. "Teeth Whitening Caution". Holy shit is that funny.

BallHype: hype it up!

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Ronnie Fields...Who Knows How Good He Could Have Been


I was over on TBL thinking about KG finally getting the NBA finals tonight, when suddenly I started wondering: what could have been if his former Farragut teammate Ronnie Fields never got into that car accident..From Wikipedia:

Fields had a (reported) 50-inch vertical leap. He was a 3-time Parade All American selection (1994-96) and a consensus First Team All American (Parade, USA Today, McDonald's) his senior year. He was also the first sophomore to ever play in the "Best of the Best" game at the Nike All American camp in 1993, a game that featured Allen Iverson, Kevin Garnett, and Naismith Prep Player of the Year winners Ron Mercer and Jerod Ward.

Fields was injured in a car accident on February 26, 1996, in which he broke his neck.

I remember watching his highlights almost every night. The guy was un-fucking-real. SportsChannel back in the day would air the Farragut games because eveyone wanted to watch him. To think that KG was overshadowed by this guy says quite a bit about what he could have done if that accident never happened. People compared this guy to Jordan like you compare similar apples at a grocery store, looking for any small differences.

Just look at the shit he could pull:






The quality on the one below is shitty, but he straight jumped over this dude.



BallHype: hype it up!

Movies Under 10 Dollars You Should Own..Or At Least Watch


Alright, we haven't really followed up on this one, but for some reason this morning on the train I found myself doing the Karl voice saying, "You ought not talk like that..you're just a boy". And if you just did the voice in your head as well, pat yourself on the back, you're a fucking american. Anyways, For those of you that apparently includes Noce, I highly recommend the movie Sling Blade. Billy Bob Thornton (who won the Oscar for best actor in 97'for this movie) gives easily the best performance of his otherwise horrible career (Bad Santa is absolved of any wrong doing).

I'll be honest, the movie is not for those who enjoy a quick pace. I got recommended to watch by my uncle, and after the first 30 minutes I sat there thinking Something...fucking...happen. You must be patient. And the reason you must be patient is Dwight Yoakam character of Doyle Hargraves. I had no idea the motherfucker could act this good.

Before I get into Doyle, here's a brief background on the plot. Billy Bob Thornton plays Karl Childers, a slow man who killed his father when he was younger with (you guessed it) a sling blade. A sling blade is some hick fucking term for a lawnmower blade. Moving on, Karl gets released from the looney bin, and befriends a boy played by Lucas Black (whoever the fuck that is).

Alright, now back to Doyle. Doyle is the boy's mother's boyfriend with a mean streak and is a constant drunk. The performance he gives is awesome. Especially the part later on in the movie when you get to meet Doyle's shitkicker band. Holy fuck that's great. Here's a snippet, and keep in mind the character Terence is in a wheelchair:

Doyle: Now get the fuck out now before I get too mad to turn back!
Terence: What about our instruments?
Doyle: Come here, you little prick. Come here, you little fucking prick!
[Wheels him right into the door]
Doyle: Get out! All y'all, get the fuck out! Come on, you motherfuckers!
[Nobody moves]
Doyle: Get the fuck out! Randy, you tuning son of a bitch, go fucking practice, Randy!
[Noody moves]
Doyle: Come on, Morris, you fucking genius, get the fuck up and get the fuck out of here, Goddammit!

Just great. Like I said, it's a really good movie. If don't buy it, at least watch and tell me what you think

A Little Bit On Everything


No I'm not dead. I've been in god awful all day meetings for the past 3 days, so to break the drought I'm just going to offer some thoughts on what's been going on. First off, I put this picture up because I'm not a huge Brian Anderson guy. Nothing I have against him, just not sure that he's really going to do anything in the majors consistently enough to earn a spot in the outfield. That being said, I fully appreciated his effort on going for the triple last night in the 12th inning. As Hawk said during the game, it took a perfect throw to nail him, and that's what the Royals got. If he makes it you have one out and a runner on the third. My kudos of the day goes to BA for that one.

I managed to stay up to the 13th before I finally decided that if I stayed up to watch them lose I would have been really pissed. Sox need to sweep tonight heading into the 3 game series with Minnesota that they need to keep morale going. With all the shit that's been going on they need it.

We have an excellent source in their lockerroom (I'm seriously not shiting you), and I guess there's been plenty of fights in there as late, including the media as well. The combatants? Teddy Greenstein from the Tribune and Sox play-by-play man Ed Farmer. I'll have to get details on what happened, but that's seriously funny.

The fucking Penguins shit the bed as I hoped they would not have, and now Noce is 20 dollars richer as a result. After watching them pretty closely during the postseason, I was convinced they had enough offense to over come the Red Wings. Not so. Fuck you Pittsburgh.

While I was watching the Sox game, I also flipped on the Cubs from time to time. Lilly had a mean change-up working. I love the fact that he came into season with a slow start and all the Cubs were calling for him to get traded on the Sports Am talk shows. How do you feel about that now? Well, streaks over douchebags. Back to reality.

NBA Finals Predictions: So I've been in a bad luck streak with betting Noce, and that will probably continue going into the NBA as well. I bet Noce during the before the Conference semifinals that the Lakers wouldn't win it all. I get Spurs, Pistons, and Celtics for 10 bucks, he gets the Lakers for 20.

I fucking hate Boston. But for the next week and a half, (sigh) Go Celtics. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go wash my mouth and fingers with soap.
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