Thursday, April 10, 2008

A Look At Some ESPN Member Douchebags...

Yes, it's been awhile since we delved into the beer-fueled intelligence one can only gain from ESPN Members, but it's back. After scrolling through the message boards, and leap-frogging from profile to profile, I stumbled upon today's participant which reminded me of something I forgot I fucking hated: people from the south who think the SEC is "God's conference". Is the SEC is best overall football conference every year generally? Yes, I would say so. Is the ACC the best overall basketball conference from top to bottom every year? Maybe a couple years ago I would agree with that, but the Big East is much deeper.

Anyways, enough of my jackass opinion, let's rip this motherfucker. I give you, 755Club



What intially attracted my attention to this profile from "Len" was the picture you see to your right. Here's the link so you too can see the seizure I'm having a result of pic: http://myespn.go.com/755club Ok, I like the movie too. But why not just put a picture Edward Norton kicking the shit out of himself? How about Marla Singer having not been fucked like that since grade school? Something other then your fucking Mickey Mouse Joseph and the Technicolor dreamcoat visuals here.

"WE ARE A PART OF AN OR-AN-GE NATION"


No, just you are, you fucking dog-raping, Jeff Gordon supporting, Busch Light drinking, Wrangler wearing, Jeff Foxworthy listenin', King of the Hill wathcing, Squirrel is a mighty fine meal procliaming Dipshit. Leave we out. Add in I. No problems with me commences. Moving On.

As you can see, our friend here is quite a fan of his fantasy sports. I will never begrudge anyone of that, but I do recommened if you have his profile up to hold your arrow over the WTC icon. HE FUCKING PARTICIPATED IN WOMEN'S COLLEGE BASKETBALL PICK'EM 2005. Holy shit...I've seen it all. I mean, wow. I guess the fabulous game of "who can cum in blind Ol' Elroy the dogs eye first" got old for a week or two.


His sports moments are fine until we reach: The Tackle: Jones tackles Dyson 1 yd short of game tying TD to win Super Bowl XXXIV @ the GA Dome. If you're a fucking Tennessee fan, how do you not like the Titans? And you'd rather support the Rams? I can't stand people who can root for a fucking state themed college but not their pro team. Makes me want to find Ol' Elroy. PS..you would consider yourself a Cubs fan.

I will however give him two small acknowledgements: for having Racquet Ball as one of his favorite sports and listing his occupation as a NASCAR test chimp. I don't know why I find that slightly amusing. I think these fuckers are starting to get to me.

FAVORITE TEAMS: Atlanta Falcons, Indianapolis Colts, Tennessee, Atlanta Braves, Georgia Tech, St. Louis Rams, Green Bay Packers, Georgia, LSU, Dallas Cowboys, Chicago Cubs, Atlanta Thrashers.


"Len" is from Atlanta, so I absolve him of the Georgia teams. The Colts, Cowboys and Cubs have their bandwagon douchebags, so I don't have a huge problem here, either. However, rooting for the Packers and Rams...let's just say I'd like to rip off his fingernails and pour 10W40 down his throat for that one. Inexcusable.

The "in 755 words" section is absolute mindless drivel, so I won't even waste my time. However, he does have a recent blog post that must be shared:

Gas? Liquid? Nope...SOLID


The Stanford team pushed the Lady Vols to the limit [and overtime even] way back when they had to beat them in a non-con that no one expected to be a preview of the Finals. Yet the rematch was OWNED by the Tennessee TEAM. Not a Candice vs. Candace showdown that all the media wanted, but a solid TEAM effort, including above-and-beyond performances by the roomies, "Lil Bit" and "aN Oh Cee Kay"

CP did throw her fubar shoulder into the mix, but it was the TEAM effort (absent for so many recent games) that solidified the confetti.

Ladies, that was restaurant-quality lemonade


Please re-read that last line. Someone ship this motherfucker to western Pakistan wearing his bright orangle coat to mix with the locals. I'd like to see what fucking lemonade comes out his pants when they start boiling him alive.

5 comments:

stalkingerinandrews said...

That was NASA test chimp, but NASCAR test chimp is funnier.

Dr. C said...

I think I made the assumption it was NASCAR...and yes that's definitely funnier

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aa said...

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