Thursday, April 3, 2008

Movies $10 and Under You Should Own: The Lost Boys

Noce and I are kicking around some new ideas with which to pontificate. While reading Steg and Trunk's Ode to Major League, it made me think...movies that you may not have seen that you should own for a reasonable price. Novel fucking concept, I know. With that said, I introduce the first movie 10 bucks and under I present to you, our reader(s):



Jason Patric: Michael
Corey Haim: Sam
Dianne Wiest: Lucy
Barnard Hughes: Grandpa
Edward Herrmann: Max
Kiefer Sutherland: David
Jami Gertz: Star

Corey Feldman: Edgar Frog

It's pretty hard to beat a crazy fucking vampire movie from the 80's with a pretty good cast. Kiefer Sutherland, the leader of the vampires is complete fucking badass. If David told me to drink the blood and be one of them, you're fucking right I'd do it.

The opening scene is great; its an aerial shot of the ocean coming up on the town of Santa Carla near a boardwalk fair. The vampires come, fuck this couple up, drink their blood, and move on. Most likely to play checkers in their layer and listen to Mr. Brownstone by Guns n' Roses.

In comes our introduction to Michael, the main character played by Jason Patric (he of the shitacular sequel Speed 2: Cruise Control) Michael, his brother Sam and his mother Lucy go to live with their Grandpa in Santa Carla after leaving Phoenix for fuck knows what. Lucy gets a job at video store (what a fucking go-getter) where she meets Max, the actual head of the vampires.

Long story short, Michael sees this hot fucking chick named Star at the carnival (as seen above), who is somewhat with David, I guess. He ends up meeting David, and David recruits him to join, which he of course does. Sam realizes Michael is a vampire, and enlists the help of the Frog brothers to kill the vampires. Ass kicking ensues, and the show down between Michael and David makes Jean Claude Van Dam against Tong Po in Kickboxer look like fruit flies fucking on Animal Planet.

I highly recommend you go buy this fucking movie if you don't own it already. It's great, and it comes at the right price: cheap.


" stereo"

"How are those maggots? Huh? Maggots. You're eating maggots. How do they taste? (drops container) They're only noodles Michael. How can a billion Chinese people be wrong?"

"Hey, anything around here that might pass for aftershave? How about some Windex, Grandpa? Yeah, yeah, let me try some of that. You have a big date tonight, Grandpa? I'm going to drop my handiwork by the widow Johnson. What'd ya stuff for her? Mr. Johnson?"


stalkingerinandrews said...

Not to bog you down with sports talk, but Uribe and Crede both hit homers today. Both of them were supposed to be on other teams before opening day. Does this mean we want both of them still? Crede I'd be happy to keep, but despite today, Uribe needs to go, IMO.

Dr. C said...

Yeah I just got done hitting refresh 8 million times on my computer...thank fucking god they left with at least one. Vazquez was awful to watch last night. I'm hoping Crede will get his timing back so Kenny can start dangling him for some pitching...I'm dreading fucking Floyd's start. Danny Wright Jr. needs to go just as bad Uribe...and yes, I'll update the Dominican Douchebags' stats

stalkingerinandrews said...

Crede can stay on this team as long as he wants. I say keep him until closer to the trading deadline, because then another GM might overpay just because he needs another bat for the playoff run. As for Uribe, trade him tonight while he still looks good. I hear KC is looking to move their beer vendor. Sounds even to me, you can never have too many of those.

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