Thursday, May 8, 2008

Blow Up Dolls: Not as good as advertised

The controversy over the White Sox blow-up doll shenanigans appears to be boiling over into a full scale Chicago newspaper war.

Who would have thought that the media would blow up (no pun intended) a seemingly harmless story into a city-wide feud? Well they have.

It started when Carol Slezak, one of the Sun Times' pencil jockeys, penned a column bashing Ozzie Guillen, Kenny Williams and about half of the Sox batting order for pulling a Major League-like attempt at waking up their lousy bats.

The funny thing is, Slezak wasn't even at the fucking game in Toronto and yet she still felt the need as a woman, and as a "journalist", to call out the entire organization.

"I'm sure the players' moms, wives, sisters and daughters are really proud of them. Way to go, guys. And just so we're clear, the tired ''boys will be boys'' excuse no longer works."

I'm sure that the players' moms, wives, sisters, daughters and even their girlfiriends on the side could give two shits about what goes on in that locker room, because they're probably out spending the money that these guys are making for being pro ballplayers.

They're not working for the Peace Corps here for Christ's sake, they're baseball players, not priests. Hell, if they were priests they probably would have sprung for the 12-year-old boy doll complete with salty tears.

I'd keep going but Mike Downey, apparently on hiatus from his duties as Dennis Franz' body double, wrote a suprisingly witty and appropriate column in response to Slezak's piece today.

Downey points out the glaring hypocrisy of Slezak's words displayed on the same page as ads for hookers and other sleazy (not Slezak but I like where your head's at) smut that the "Chicago Scum-Times" runs on a daily basis.

"Sensitivity training" was one of the things the White Sox obviously need, according to the Sun-Times, the home of ads like this one in its Tuesday's sports pages:2 Girls—At Once! Feel the Youth." took out that ad. I guess it must be part of a Sun-Times campaign to support girls doing their homework together for school."

Ouch. Do you hear that? It's the sound of the Tribune rubbing the Sun-Times' collective face into a huge pile of shit that they call a newspaper.
I don't see the harm in what the White Sox did with the blow up doll.

Sure they could have waited until they were within the confines of their own stadium, but honestly, is that really that offensive to women? It can't be nearly as offensive toward women as this is.

In other news both the Sox and the Cubs lost. Puppies are cute, the sky is blue and Vince Vaughn just got done snorting lines off of a 17-year old Russian prostitute named Svetlana. Now THAT'S how you offend women.

BallHype: hype it up!


Anonymous said...

That was a landmine of a pic...not cool with the Clinton explosion.

Irving Bertrand Clean said...

Really, you couldn't have linked lemonparty or something instead?

Now I won't see my dick for another three weeks.

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