Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Steve Rosenbloom Absolutely Sucks


I wasn't too familiar with Steve Rosenbloom, the writer as I was Steve Rosenbloom the ESPN 1000 talk show host with Sean Salisbury. Simply put, a fucking abortion on air. Salisbury with his huff and puff, waving his finger at a blind audience somewhere from Bristol. Rosenbloom, sitting in a bomb shelter disagreeing with his fucking weasel voice. I've seen his poker columns on the Tribune before, and they're not bad. I'll give him slight credit for that. However, who had the bright idea to sponsor his blog as Chicago analysis needs immediate hotoilboarding for their decision. My case in point:a>

Zambrano? Cy. Piniella? Sigh.

Carlos Zambrano has a chance to be Gavin Floyd someday.

Piniella also says teams are taking more delight in beating the Cubs than they did last year. Sounds weak to me. Sounds like a manager who's scrambling and reverts to the most basic rallying philosophy: Everyone's against us, boys. Come on, Piniella is better than that.

Isn’t he?

The Bears released Adam Archuleta, the safety who showed that Lovie Smith can't judge older players any better than he can judge former bunkmates as defensive coordinators. The Bears should’ve done this months ago, but they apparently wanted to be as late on this off the field as Archuleta was on it.

A federal judge ruled that Roger Clemens is allowed to continue to use the attorney who has led him down this path of public humiliation and lying to the government. No lie. True fact. More Stupid Human Tricks to follow.


Holy fucking awful.

Rosenbloom quickly fills my head with a Darrion Scott rage. Zambrano? Cy. Piniella? Sigh. Dr. C? Fist Rosenbloom? Face. Some people should not be allowed a public forum to cast their shitty attempts at word play.

Zambrano has a chance to Gavin Floyd someday. I can't imagine how hard it is to type with one hand while patting yourself on the back with the other entire time. Apparently Steve's pretty good at it. Boy, I'm soo snarky. People despise my cleverness. I'm like the Lucky Charms Leprachaun. I'm magically delicious!

Piniella also says teams are taking more delight in beating the Cubs than they did last year. Sounds weak to me. Sounds like a manager who's scrambling and reverts to the most basic rallying philosophy: Everyone's against us, boys. Come on, Piniella is better than that.

Isn’t he?


I don't know, Mr. hypothetical fucking thinker, care to bestow your knowledge on this? You're the one with the Tribune sponsored blog. Instead of posing questions, how about providing answers. Oh wait, you don't know shit about anything outside of poker? But you sure can rattle a few cages!


The Bears should’ve done this months ago, but they apparently wanted to be as late on this off the field as Archuleta was on it.

Yes, they should have. There's about 8 million other things more important then some washed up shmuck with the hottest girlfriend in Chicago. They got to it before June, therefore who gives a fuck as long as they did. Holy Snark, Steve! The final burn on Archuleta...check your attitude when you read this webformation.

Blah, Blah, Blah...and now time for the Stevey final Leavey: More Stupid Human Tricks to follow. This (pats) is...(pats)(pats)(pats) HILARIOUS! (patpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpat). I'm going to reward myself with an ice cream cone from McDonalds, only to bitch that my swirrel cone is melting more then the Bulls coaching choices! Burn! (patpatpatpat)

3 comments:

stalkingerinandrews said...

Dr. C? Fist Rosenbloom? Face.

I think there should have been a period after "Fist." The first time I read this, I thought you wanted to fist Rosenbloom, and that's not a pleasant thought.

Dr. C said...

Definitely not. It was written rather quickly as the day was almost over. I don't stay a second past 5 at work if I don't have to.

brosen289 said...

someones a little said they don't have an audience, huh?

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