Monday, February 4, 2008

Let The Backlash Begin...


Every now and then we'll check our Gmail account to see if anyone A: Has tips for us, B: Wants us to harbor money for them, or C: Check our Sitemeter statistics. Well, low and behold comes our first ever reader response from little Daphne Sellers in Alabama. She types lovingly to us in response to our looks at ESPN Member Douchebags:

May I say to you, there are a lot of people who take offense to the use of this term being taken so lightly. This birth defect, Cleft Lip, is a fact, IT HAPPENS! To all sorts of children from all walks of life. Russian, Chinese, AMERICAN, rich, poor, black, white, it doesn’t matter. Not one of them asked for it, but will suffer the pain and emotional insecurities because of statements like yours, regardless. It is my prayer that your children, grandchildren, siblings, etc. will be born healthy without birth defects, but don’t be so sure you will be excluded, cleft lip and palate affects 1 in every 700 births………… it’s not an easy road to travel. Have mercy! When will we stop taking cheap shots and hurting those who are not born flawless.

Sincerely,

Daphne Sellers


When I saw this, I immediately notified Noce of such joyous news. People in Alabama actually own computers! That's fucking amazing! And to think we were only reaching random Carbuncles in Germany..Well, you write, and we write you back:

Daphne,

First of all I'd like to say thank you for visiting our little corner of the blogsphere. It's not often we receive feedback from female readers and certainly not the type that get all bent out of shape over a little jab at the hilarious deformity you seem to know so much about. I couldn't help but laugh out loud as I read your whiny, annoying little email to my friends and coworkers, who all equally thought you should go fist yourself.

Did it make you feel better about yourself to send me that email and waste the time it took me to read it plus the time it's now taking me to let you know how much of a waste of sperm you were? I sure as shit don't. So next time you have a problem with something I've written on here, please, close your eyes, walk out your front door towards the street and see how far you get before you get side swiped by a guy in a Yukon who's looking at his precious "birth defect" instead of the crazy bitch walking in traffic with her eyes closed.

And tell your dad I loved his work on the Branded series, maybe someday he'll get out of that iron lung and smack some sense into you.

Hugs and Kisses,

Noce


Further thoughts for us? Please email us at chicagobullblogspot@gmail.com

PS: I will have a Super Bowl edition of looks at ESPN Member Douchebags thanks to Trunk at MBSR very soon.

19 comments:

theoriginaljd said...

Do you see what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass Larry?

Anonymous said...

I laughed once too at a kid in school with a cleft lip. Now my daughter has one and is going to have her third surgery before she turns a year old next week. It isn't so funny when it happens to you.

Anonymous said...

You are the biggest asshole that ever walked the face of the earth.

Noce said...

Haha, the "face" of the earth? Anyone else see the irony here?

Anonymous said...

Perhaps,someday after you are in some kind of disfiguring tragedy, you'll allow the world to mock you. Karma's a bitch jock boy.

Anonymous said...

Haha, the name of your blog "Chicago Bull", I see the irony there...all you spew is Bullshit. I think you probably are trying to overcompensate for your small manhood by making fun of others to make yourself feel better about yourself...but you are small minded and I suspect small in other respects as well, too bad they don't have a plastic surgeon to help you with your problem. At least people born with facial birth defects can be helped, in your case there is no help for stupid and ignorant.

Dr. C said...

We all have terrible shit that's going to happen to us in life, and if you think that we haven't known people with deformities and such..well..you're right. But sooner or later we will; If you can't take a joke about the shit we write, don't fucking read it. Keep in mind you chose to come here. Expect Leperacy jokes in the upcoming week.

Anonymous said...

hahaha, you finally got more than two comment on your crappy ass blog. I'm just sorry I gave you one more webhit. Oh well; enjoy your 15 minutes of fame boys!

Dr. C said...

Thank you anon, were going for a record here..

theoriginaljd said...

I wish I could have unprotected sex with anon -- then you'd really learn what it's like to have an illness.

Anonymous said...

Good ridens you guys are the biggest losers. Find someone else to pick on. Some people may have facial differences but you are plain ugly.

Dr. C said...

You're right, anon...looking like a glove has always been hard for me to handle. PS It's spelled riddence you dumbfuck.

theoriginaljd said...

Oh I'm ugly am I? That's not what LovaGrl97 told me after I offered her $100 on Craigslist to take a piss on my chest.

theoriginaljd said...

By the way -- that was the official JD "fuck you" send off brought to you by Mellow Yellow.

Dr. C said...

hahaha I fucking love it..JD is killing again

Anonymous said...

You are a waste of perfectly good oxygen brought into this world.

Rae Carruth's Trunk said...

Oh come on Daphne, just put your real fucking name on it already.

I'm not quite sure how you stumble across the rapeosphere (this is a name I'm coining for blogs like this and MBSR), but really, did you expect not to be offended?

As to the first anonymous, a lot of women drink during pregnancy, let it be a learning lesson. Oh, and I wouldn't go spending too much money on those beauty paegent entrance fees...

Gepetto said...

Man, did you guys get put on some sort of "Cleft Lip is a disease not a joke" website or something?

Wow!

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