Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Would You Rather...?

So with the dreaded lull of sports we're in, we've decided to bring more of the bullshit aspect up of the blog as we scrap for ideas much like a stoner scrapes resin off of a bowl to get by (and it always did the trick for me, except when the ball hit your tongue, that sucked...literally!)

With that in mind, I unveil Would You Rather? The age old question between two things generally negative in a quest for the lesser of two evils. So do us a favor and play along. Cause there's not shit else to do, and I don't feel like fucking around with YouTube today.

TODAY'S QUESTION: WOULD YOU RATHER DROWN OR BURN TO DEATH?




OR



Let's think this one out here. Drowning is a combination of complete agony and suffocation. Thrashing violently and not breathing. I'm not too sure how long you can breathe if you're on fire, but I would think you've got at least a little bit, so I give fire the notch on that one.

However, being in water is more comfortable then being engulfed in flames, so drowning gets the nod there. It's a tough one, and I've always been more partial to the fire, but I'm going with drowning on this one for the mere fact I don't want to feel my flesh peeling off or my fucking eyes melting. Bad times indeed.

Complete sidenote; why do kids always put their heads in fucking plastic bags? I mean I've done it when I was younger too. What the fuck is so facinating about not breathing? Let the comments begin...

10 comments:

theoriginaljd said...

Yeah stupid kids and their affinity for struggling to breath, and of course by kids I mean me - on a Saturday night - with a three hundred dollar whore that I met on Craigslist...named James.

Dr. C said...

$300? Damn, craigslist isn't fucking around anymore these days..ah the good ole days when you could go far with a 15 year asian girl and 20 bucks.....ah damnit, I need new pants

Noce said...

I still say burning. Once the shock sets in you're off to la-la land, not feeling anything. Plus, if you're going to be cremated anyway, this is like a head start on the whole process. I would not want my body to end up fish food in some ocean or river, fuck fish.

Dr. C said...

Agreed on the fuck fish sentiment, but I still say being engulfed in water > engulfed in flames. It's going to take a while to burn all that flesh off of you.

Gepetto said...

Well, you've neglected the key wild card here: WHERE is this occurring? If I'm pulling some Tieneman Square stuff, I'm going for burning 100%. If I've just set myself on fire trying to overheat my XBOX360, then we're back to drowning.

...is there a cool way to drown?

theoriginaljd said...

Dr. C -- oh you can get it for twenty bucks, but the real pros are a few hundred bucks. It's all about the professionalism really

Dr. C said...

Good Question, Gepetto. I suppose you choose wherever you want to, really. You have to pick one or the other, so it doesn't matter where you choose so long as its the end. Speaking of the end, before I died, I would definitely request to hear that song from the Doors. It's the only way to go...Father, yes son, I want to kill you..

Gepetto said...

I think that if it were a quick incineration, that would be the way to go.

Drowning isn't exactly quick, and there's a bit of suffering involved. Burning isn't fun either, but I envision I sort of "laser death ray" that's a .1 second flash of horrible pain and then you're left with nothing but dust and a shadow on the ground.

An Outside Observer said...

I got drowning let's face it, it's going to be over quick. If you could hold your breath a long time, that'd solve the whole drowning issue.

With burning it could last a while. I would be running around screaming like a 12-year old girl. That'd just get that fire going stronger.

With my luck some volunteer hero would douse me with the water I didn't want to be drowned in. I would suffer for days in my new extra crispy skin. Infection sets in and I suffer a painfully itchy death.

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