Thursday, November 8, 2007

Week 10 Picks From The Doctor

Want another reason to not like Jeff Garcia? It's staring right into your eyes, while your eyes are not looking at hers. Yes, Carmella DeCesare is ridiculous. Anyways, enough of that banter. I've already posted on the fact I'm seven games behind Noce right now, so I will be using the 2005 Houston Astros as my official comeback sponsor since they were 15-30 at one point only to come back and win the N.L. pennant. Of course they got swept by my beloved White Sox, so the transition from them to the Sox will be key. How does that work? Not a fucking clue here either, so let's move on and start the second half of the season the right way.

As you may or may not know, I'm also your guide to some Country Club Golf Hustlin' NFL bets. I pick 3 games each week with the line included for Epic Carnival, so if you want to make some cash, take the doctor's pigskin prescriptions. I'm 7-3 so far this year.

Denver @ Kansas City: Fresh off of a complete ass raping, the Broncos take their horrible defense on the road again; this time to Arrowhead Stadium. On the flip side, LJ will not be playing this week for the Chiefs, and could possibly be sidelined for the year. How's that Michael Bennett trade looking now? Wow..this is actually kinda tough. Denver's D sucks, but the only real threat for KC is down. I'll still take KC though; Tony Gonzalez has been much better of late, and he should be over the century mark for yards. 17-13 Chiefs

Buffalo @ Miami: Isn't it kinda ironic that while one team tries to be the second to ever go undefeated, the original team to do it has yet to win this year? I think it's hilarious personally, and I'm hoping they dont win at all. Fuck you Shula. LINE: -3 BUF 24-6 Bills

Minnesota @ Green Bay: If this one was at Minnesota, I would consider taking the viqueens. But Lambeau and Favre do not a good situation make for Purple Jesus. 27-20 Packers

Cleveland @ Pittsburgh: This should be a good game. I've been pretty impressed with Derek Anderson, and alot of the Chicago sports radio stations have mentioned him as someone the Bears should persue. We'll see how does against James Harrison and the Steelers' D though. Willie Parker, you motherfucker, you better break one off for a touchdown you clown. You have been a huge disappointment to the 3 Doors DownSyndrome (thanks to KSK for that beauty of a name). 31-23 Steelers

St. Louis @ New Orleans: What's worse? The current state of New Orleans or the Rams? Discuss. 41-10 Saints

Jacksonville @ Tennessee: Expect a fast game on the scoreboard as both teams are in the top five for rushing. I'll take Vince Young over Quinn whoeverthefuck anyday. 17-9 Titans

Philadelphia @ Washington: I don't trust either of these teams. However, I think the 'Skins are slightly better, so I'll go with them. 21-20 Redskins

Atlanta @ Carolina: Carolina is easily the worst team at .500. Testaverde is already hurt, and some pole smoker named Matt Moore could be playing in his place. I can't believe I'm typing this: 17-3 Falcons

Cincinnati @ Baltimore: It's a goddamn field of landmines this week exploding with shittyness in every matchup. I might end up wrong on how who wins, but I do know this: OVER/UNDER: 44.5, TAKE THE UNDER 20-17 Ravens

Detroit @ Arizona: God is on Jon Kitna's side, and it's showing more and more each week. 27-17 Lions

Cowboys @ Giants: Stop me if you've heard this one before; The Giants start out slow, win a bunch of games making everyone believe they're actually good. Then they suck again, limp into the playoffs and do nothing. Amazing how history repeats itself every year in New York. 35-28 Cowboys

Chicago @ Oakland: Could Cedric Benson actually see triple digits this Sunday? Probably not, but Oakland sucks. Don't get overly excited though, Bears fans, they're still not that good. 24-13 Bears

Indianapolis @ San Diego: Before the year started, I would have probably wanted to watch this game. Now, I could really care less because I already know what's going to happen. LINE: -4 IND 31-17 Colts

San Francisco @ Seattle: Whoever made the NFL schedule, please punch yourself in the nuts repeatedly from kickoff to the final seconds. This is pure garbage. 27-6 Seahawks


DCScrap said...

So I take it God is no longer on Kurt Warner's side, since the Lions play the Cards and you're taking Kitna?

Anonymous said...

Susan Powder is all he's got left, and I think she might be leaving soon too.