Thursday, November 15, 2007

Week 11 Picks From The Doctor

Week after week, I manage to gain nothing. In fact, I just took another loss of a game in the standings. Fuck this blows. I'm like the Miami Dolphins of NFL picks recently, so that was the inspiration to the left. I thought I would be posting alot more stuff, but instead I've been lazy laying around sleeping. Speaking of sleeping, I saw a report last night on nightline as I was flipping around channels, and there's some fucking goofball who set a world record for continuous night without sleep. The dude hadn't slept in 11 fucking days. I'm pretty much an insomniac myself, but there's no way I could go longer then 3 days without sleep. I get delusional and shit on day three. But this jackass claims his motor functions have gotten better. Maybe it's one of those cases where the dude was such a fucking klutz he actually did get better. He looked like the Big Lebowski's lost cousin. Pretty funny. Anyways, here's the standings between me and Noce, and as usual I make my three plays for Epic Carnival. I finished 2-1 again last week, making me 8-4 overall with my picks. PS, IF YOU DO DECIDE TO MAKE A PLAY, TAKE TAMPA, THAT'S SO MONEY YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IT!!

Noce: 95-47
Dr. C: 87-55

Miami @ Philadelaphia: LINE: PHI -10 35-6 Eagles

Tampa Bay @ Atlanta: For the first time all year, I took the Falcons to win, and Alge Crumpler secured my pick on a last second TD as they won 20-13. This week, a return to sanity. LINE: -3 TB 28-10 Bucs

Cleveland @ Baltimore: Derek Anderson should have no problem in this one throwing for 225 and 3 tds. Jamal Lewis would probably like to show up his former team on the ground, but he's looked like shit lately and that won't change. Browns 24-13

New York Giants @ Detroit: Both teams are coming in at 6-3 and off of double digit losses. Detroit ran for an impressive negative 18 yards in the game against the Cardinals while Romo torched the Giants Secondary. Despite having home field advantage, I think the Giants Defense will stop Detroit's offense. 27-17 Giants

San Diego @ Jacksonville: San Diego has been the toughest team this season to predict, with Kansas City coming in second. I never know which team will show up. My head tells me Jaguars, and though I'm tempted to take San Diego, I'll go with the Jags. 21-17 Jaguars

New Orleans @ Houston: The Saints choked against the hapless Rams last week. Let's hope they don't choke again for my sake. 31-21 Saints

Kansas City @ Indianapolis: Manning had his worst game of the season, if not his worst ever. Expect Peyton to come out pissed off and take it out on the ugly red-headed stepchildren called the Chiefs. 38-17 Colts

Carolina @ Green Bay: Just wait for the playoffs, Packers fans. It'll all end at the hands of the Cowboys, and I will love every second of it. 28-7 Packers

Oakland @ Minnesota: No Purple Jeezy, No problem. Chester Taylor hasn't done much all year, he'll be ready to run on that shitty Raider Run D. 20-13 Vikings

Arizona @ Cincinnati: If Detroit couldn't get positive yardage on the ground against the Cardinals, how will the 28th ranking rushing team in the NFL do? Yeah, not so much. LINE: -3.5 CIN 27-16 Cardinals

Pittsburgh @ New York Jets: Rape can defined in many ways: 1. using rufies to put in a girl's drink and then taking her home after she passes out. 2. Throwing a rock at Megan Fox's head after she just got done smoking pot. 3. The Steelers lining up against the Jets. 38-10 Steelers

Chicago @ Seattle: Gut Check time, Bears fans. My interest in the rest of this season hinges on the arm of number 8. I'll be stocking up on Rolaids before kick-off in this one. 24-20 Bears

St. Louis @ San Francisco: If you watch this game, you deserve an Elephant penis in your mouth. 21-9 Rams

Washington @ Dallas: Tony Romo would have to come down with Bird Flu for the Cowboys not to win this one. 34-20 Cowboys

New England @ Buffalo: I'm no fan of the Patriots, but I want them to go undefeated because I'm so fucking sick of the 72 Dolphins running their mouth about their stupid fucking record. Especially when they pop their champagne bottle and do an elephant walk around the room. Just uncalled for. 41-17 Patriots

Tennessee @ Denver: This one interests me as much as the AIDS epidemic in Africa. 21-16 Titans

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