Thursday, November 1, 2007

Week 9 Picks From The Doctor

I would have posted more today, but I had plenty of guff to deal with at the office. Boo that noise. And get this shit by the way. Our department is taking us to the fucking circus tomorrow at Allstate Arena, not far from where we work. Why? Hell if I know. Maybe it inspires workers that they could have been a carnival barker in life and that their job really isn't that bad. Outside of that, I have no idea. On top of that, we have to come back around 1:30 to finish the day. Let's see if I actually contribute to my workload after seeing clowns. I hate fucking clowns. What is entertaining about clowns, and why would anyone ever want to be one? I'm lost, so let's get back to what life is all about: Football and hot broads. On to the picks.

Sidenote: You can see my picks on Epic Carnival, as I make three plays each week. Last week I covered on all three, and am 4-2 for the past two weeks I started doing. So take my word on it, and reap the benefits. My best bets will be displayed in bold

Cincinnati @ Buffalo: I trust Buffalo in this one as much as I trust Bill Belichick wearing a suit on the sidelines this upcoming Sunday. 27-14 Bengals

Denver @ Detroit: Two of the worst defenses in the league will be meeting on turf in the motor city. Denver is 6th in pass defense, yet dead last against the rush. On the other hand, Detroit is 30th against the run, and not much better in the pass category. Count on a lot of points in this one, and Detroit coming up short against Denver. 31-27 Broncos

Green Bay @ Kansas City: Kansas City is 2-1 at home, but erratic on offense. It's hard to tell which team is going to show up each week; the one that destroyed the Chargers in San Diego, or the one that was absent in a home loss vs. Jacksonville. Green Bay seems to have this 2001 Bears luck around them that gets them to wins one way or another. Look for that to continue. LINE: KC -1.5 24-14 Packers

San Diego @ Minnesota: L.T. meets Purple Jesus in the battle of the elite backs game. I think L.T. will want to prove that he's still the best in the face of the future. 28-13 Chargers

Jacksonville @ New Orleans: I was very surprised the Jags managed to pull that one out last week down in Tampa. However, I won't be surprised when Drew Brees throws all over their defense in the dome. 34-10 Saints

Arizona @ Tampa Bay: Speaking of the Bucs, they welcome Arizona, who's trying to get to .500 on the year. Not happening. 20-17 Bucs

Carolina @ Tennessee: Mr. Mittens will quarterback this game. Mr. Mittens will also leave this game in an ambulance. I'm calling it right now. 21-10 Titans

San Francisco @ Atlanta: Fuck these are some bad teams. How's that San Fran is a sleeper pick looking now? Jag-offs. 17-13 49'ers

Washington @ New York Jets: The Kellen Clements era has begun at the Meadowlands. Too bad he's going to get whacked like Vito when Sean Taylor shows his up up his ass. 24-6 'Skins

Seattle @ Cleveland: Hmm..think I'm heading back to the coin flip on this one. Heads Seattle, Tails Cleveland. I flipped twice, both times it came up heads. LINE: CLE -1.5 27-17 Seahawks

New England @ Indianapolis: The regular season Super Bowl. If you aren't watching this game on Sunday, you are not american. You are a terrorist. 34-31 Patriots

Houston @ Oakland: This game is the complete opposite of the one above. If you watch this game, you are also a terrorist. Instead of playing the football game, I would find it more entertaining to see a gang from both cities have a gun battle. Now that I would watch. 14-13 Texans

Dallas @ Philadelphia: Consider Philly to be alot like Britney Spears. They both consist of booze and food that contains cheese. They both have ugly children who's douchebag fathers are better caring for them then their mothers. They both will be fucked by Tony Romo. LINE: DAL TO COVER -3 38-21 Cowboys

Baltimore @ Pittsburgh: I have no faith in Baltimore to do anything. This is going to be a fast game, featuring alot of runs, kinda like me after some hot buffalo wings. Too bad Baltimore's last good quarterback's last name rhymed with come-bite-us. 20-10 Steelers

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