Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Screw Your Damn Work Bag

On my normal Sundays of football viewing, if I'm watching the 3:15 game on CBS to it's conclusion, sometimes I'll just find nothing else on and continue on with 60 Minutes. If the stories are half interesting I just leave it on. Well, that's happened a few weeks ago. As 60 Minutes concludes, America is forced to listen to the few thoughts left that Andy Rooney has, and they're really aren't coherent. Mostly he just bitches about how he just shit himself be going on camera (he shoulda been using Oops I crapped my pants..that's alotta dung!) Anyways, he actually brought something up that I really hadn't thought about since working in the city, but it's a problem that has become horribly apparent. 98% of people carry a big fucking bag around with them. I am of the 2% that adheres to a bagless lifestyle, and I don't want to be associated in way, shape or form to this bullshit.

I understand carrying a laptop bag or a backpack. If you gotta carry a laptop around I'm fine with that, and a backpack doesn't take up too much space. My real problem lays with these fuckfaces that carry a duffle bag. Are you robbing a fucking bank in a few minutes to catch the 9:18 train home shortly thereafter? What could you possibly need that necessitates a fucking weekend bag of shit? And while were on the topic, THE ESCALATOR IS NOT A FUCKING AMUSEMENT RIDE. GET ON IT AND CONTINUE TO WALK. It's meant to move you faster. You did not get a ticket. You do not have to be a certain height to get on. Fucking Idiots.

I guess what it all boils down to Andy Rooney has made me really pissed. Everytime I'm surrounded by bags now I want to grab it off their shoulders, act like I'm about to throw it in the river and say "let's see how important your shit really is". So in short, Fuck you Andy Rooney. And fuck you duffle bag douchebags.

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