Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Who's A Bigger Wreck? Britney or The Bulls?

You know things are getting bad in Chicago when I seriously ponder this question right now. Fresh off of their 102-88 ass whooping from Orlando, the following is obvious:

1. Jim Boylan is no different than Nikita Khrushchev to this point.
2. Ben Wallace is worse than Cade McNown, Dickey Simpkins, and Jesus Pena rolled into one. (Pena was a Sox reliver in 99')
3. Time to start thinking up trades and paying more attention to College Basketball prospects (I smell some foreshadowing here).

Well, since there's nothing positive to say about the 2007-08 Bulls, let's go to a tale of the tape to see who sucks more right now:

Britney VS. Bulls
Biggest Weakness:
BRIT: Taco Bell, costs $5 per trip
BULLS: Wears #3, costs $15,000,000 per year

Lowest Point:
BRIT: Losing custody of her kids because she didn't show up to court
BULLS: Now, until they lose their next game.

Support System:
BRIT: Family who she shuns, Sam Lufti
BULLS: Jim Boylan who the players shun, Pete Myers

BRIT: Several in her head
BULLS: Several on the team

Ability to turn it around this year?:
BRIT: Not a chance in hell

Next Year, maybe?:
BRIT: Doubtful
BULLS: With Wallace under contract, also doubtful

VERDICT: They're both equally bad, but Brit Brit is probably the Winner/Loser for the fact she can't trade any of the personalities in head while the Bulls will be able to do so after 2009 with Wallace's contract finally done. It's sad how many parallels one can draw from this list above. Let's hope something happens soon.


stalkingerinandrews said...

I swear that photo of Britney is Photoshopped. Was she ever that skinny? And who was the body double? I might rather look at her.

Anonymous said...

Hard to believe it, but yeah she was..I think photo is from 2001 or so..then it was all down hill from there...I still have the poster from when hit me baby one more time came out; when she was actually actractive

stalkingerinandrews said...

Dude, that's wrong - she was about 15 at the time. Don't worry, though. I'll be burning in hell right next to you.

Anonymous said...

Britney is two years older then me, it was oh so right!!

Mac G said...

Your Dickie Simpkins had me rolling. Man, he sucked at basketball.

stalkingerinandrews said...

Shit, I feel old.

Anonymous said...

Haha, what did he ever really accomplish other then getting handed a ring? StalkingEA - sorry buddy, next time I'll just admit to creepiness

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