Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Sitting On A Train for 3 Hours Instead of 40 Minutes Absolutely Sucks...

Quick Note: The first hit takes place at :14 seconds on the left, if you want, you can jump ahead to the :42 second mark to see the guy in the jacket's reaction when realizes train 2 is coming in for the kill

Alright, now that I've found the video above, let me paint the picture for you: So normal Monday night, I get to Union Station at 5:30 for the 5:45 express home. There's only two stops; Naperville and Route 59. I'm sitting on one of those side bench seats which sucks because you have little to no room. There's a woman my age sitting on my left, and no one to my right, which was nice. This gives me a little buffer zone, and the same for the girl on my right. Well, were about 10-15 minutes into the ride when we come to a complete halt. I figure it's nothing big, it happens every now and then. 5 minutes goes by. 10 minutes goes by. Finally, the conductor comes on over the speaker: "As some of you may have heard, a car has been struck by two trains in Hinsdale. We have no idea beyond that much at this point. If there was a fatality involved we could be here awhile". Wow, this is going to blow I'm thinking to myself. So it's been about 25 minutes overall since leaving the station, when this fat fucking foreigner comes and plops himself into the tiny bench seat next me, claiming most anything that I could call my own space. He smells like onions. Then he opens his mouth:

HE IS VIGGO!!!! Remember Dr. Janosz Poha from Ghostbusters 2? I personally didn't remember the character's name, but I do remember that annoying fucking voice. That's what he sounded like. Come to think of it, he kinda looked like the guy too, adding on a deuce and a half. This motherfucker had the most annoying ringtone to go along with it, sounding like some medieval snake charming shit. A: It was loud B: Every time the phone rang (at least a dozen times in less in then an hour and a half) he would act like he just got hit with a fucking cattle rod. I wish I had one at that point, then we'd see how starling it really was.

Anyways, I'm normally supposed to get to my stop at 6:25. I got home instead at 9:10. Boy was I salty. I ended up chit-chatting with the girl next to me; she was nice, about a 5 on a scale of 1-10. Anyways, about the dude who pulled the stunt in the Youtube above: He's some 72 year old polock (NO, YOU GOTTA BE JOKING RIGHT?!) who was wasted. He got his car stuck, but luckily for him somebody came up to his SUV and got him out before the ole Grim Reaper came calling. The best was reading through this article yesterday and taking a look at the comments...

"Bob from Aurora: It's Darwinism, let him die next time" read my mind.

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