After about 2 hours of straight research and thought about this week's games (while at work mind you), I have arrived with the Gospel of Noce. And in the 3rd hour, I rested.
Colts vs. Saints: Colts have gone 7-1 in season openers since 1999 despite playing on the road six times. 28-20 Indianapolis.
Kansas City vs. Houston: Everything's bigger in Texas - including Matt Schaub. 17-14 Texans.
Denver vs. Buffalo: Home-field advantage works for Buffalo in January, not September. 21-17 Broncos.
Pittsburgh vs. Cleveland:
This one is a coin flip (Eh Romeo?) Heads win! 21-7 Steelers.
Tennessee vs. Jacksonville: My favorite ex-Illini Tony Pashos will be a good addition to the Jags O-Line. After getting pummeled all game the Titans won't be remembered until Vince Young rips his teammates for sucking. 20-6 Jaguars.
Carolina vs. St. Louis: The only thing faster than Steve Smith is Steve Smith on turf. 28-21 Panthers.
Philadelphia vs. Green Bay: Don't bother getting your hopes up for 2008 Packers fans: your team still sucks. 35-7 Eagles.
Atlanta vs. Minnesota: Taylor & Peterson edge out Dunn & Norwood in the battle of hapless QB's. 21-14 Vikings.
Miami vs. Washington: I traded Ronnie Brown in my fantasy league for a reason: Miami's offensive line has more holes in it than Lance Briggs' accident story. 17-7 Redskins.
New England vs. NY Jets: Bill Belichick is a dick. But he's got a great offense to toy with this year and the Jets still have Chad Pennington. 31-10 Patriots.
Tampa Bay vs. Seattle: No-brainer here - I've already penciled Seattle in for the NFC West Champs. 28-13 Seahawks.
Chicago vs. San Diego: Tommie Harris is still nursing that hamstring and the Bears are thin at Defensive Tackle. Not quite what you want to hear going up against one of the best running backs of all time. 24-20 Chargers.
Detroit vs. Oakland: Let's see if my Ronnie Brown for LaMont Jordan swap pays off - I'm predicting big things from you this year LJ. You can start by rusing for 120 with 2 TD's in Week 1. 21-20 Raiders.
NY Giants vs. Dallas: Eli is about as tough as his name suggests. The lesser Manning couldn't lead drunk to happy hour. 27-21 Cowboys.
Baltimore vs. Cincinnati: The best defense is a good offense eh? That seems to be the Bengals' plan - but I'm not sure it'll work against the legitimate best defense. 21-10 Ravens.
Arizona vs. San Francisco: Everyone always seems to be high on the Cardinals in the beginning of the season, only to realize they still suck. Frank Gore will dash those early hopes with a strong performance. 31-21 49ers.
Season Award Predictions
MVP: LaDanian Tomlinson
Offensive Player of the Year: Peyton Manning
Defensive P.O.Y: Shawne Merriman
Offensive Rookie of the Year: Adrian Peterson
Defensive R.O.Y: LaRon Landry
NFC Division Winners: Chicago, Seattle, Carolina, Philadelphia
NFC Wild Card: St. Louis, NY Giants
NFC Champions: Chicago
AFC Division Winners: New England, Baltimore, Indianapolis, San Diego
AFC Wild Cards: Jacksonville, Denver
AFC Champions: New England
Super Bowl XLII: Chicago 31 Patriots 30
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