That's right, Mark DeRosa. Your Cubs are pissing away every chance you have against the Marlins to take the N.L. Shit-tral. Needing a solid performance from Jason Marquis, the right hander gave up his predictable 4 earned runs as usual over 5 innings, and left the game down 5-4. While the Cubs' offense did it's job against starter Douche McShmuckbag, you'd swore the Marlins bullpen included Nolan Ryan, Sandy Koufax, Whitey Ford, Goose Gossage, Bruce Sutter, Lee Smith, and hell even the Eck. In reality, it was seven clowns who wandered in off the streets of Miami to hold the Cubs to three hits for the rest of the game.
If that's not bad enough, just take a look at what the fast-fading Brewers accomplished in St. Louis. I don't care what a great job this team has done this season. There's no fucking excuses for what a jackass Ned Yost has been this past week. The dumbass has been kicked out of three of their last four games, with the culmination coming last night in the eighth inning. After Cardinal pitcher Brad "Mommy, I stuck my toy tonka truck up my ass during my official MLB.com photo!" Thompson drilled Prince Fielder earlier on in the second for retaliation last night from a close pitch to Pujols, Yost had Seth McClung come into the game to drill Pujols with the bases empty. Both Yost and McClung, who "claimed" the pitch got away from him were ejected, and so too was the one run lead. The Cardinals put up four in the eighth to win comfortably 7-3.
How in the fuck are you going to let the "unwritten rules of baseball" interfere with you taking the division for the first time in 25 years?! Now they weren't in the lead at the time when this happened, but what they did do was piss off the Cardinals which in turn led to them rallying some run support. Absolutely terrible mananging. I don't care what you call it.
With both teams losing as usual, the North Siders' magic number dropped to three. All I know is this. If the Cubs have the chance to clinch the central tomorrow night, you're damn sure I'm going to be either in Lincoln Park or Wrigleyville. Think of all those schmucks handing out free booze simply because you utter one of the following words in no particular order:
THEY DID IT!
CUBBIES!
FUCKING (INSERT PLAYER NAME HERE), BRO!
2007
PLAYOFFS
OUR YEAR
GO
JERSEY
SHIRT
WRIGLEY
BASEBALL
SANTO
KASPER
BRENLY
I think you get the hint. The Doctor will be drinking free all night long; so in the words of Lou Piniella "Go Cubs Win", even if I am a Sox fan.
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