Cubs & Their Fans = Losers

Let me make one thing clear about this post before people start questioning my allegiance to the city of Chicago. I love the Chicago Bulls, they're my favorite Chicago sports team by far, and it's because the city I was born in was not lucky enough to have an NBA team. See, I'm from the wonderful metropolis of Buffalo, NY, a city synonomous with wings and choking away golden opportunities at winning championships. So when my family moved from Buffalo to Chicago in 1993, I finally got to experience an entire city's happiness over a championship. Granted I was only seven at the time, but I remember it vividly. From then on I have been a Bulls fan.

Before I moved to Chicago I had teams I rooted for in the state of New York. My grandfather, my father, and pretty much my entire family have been Yankees fans their entire lives. Now I know you might be wondering why people from Buffalo would root for the Yankees when teams like the Toronto Blue Jays and Cleveland Indians are much closer geographically, but let me fill you in on some Western New York perspective: fuck that. Anyone who lives in Buffalo, or any other city in New York for that matter, and isn't a Yankee fan is either A) not from New York originally or B) a dirty Jew from Long Island. I could care less about not being within the city limits, the state that comes before the name "Yankees" is still the state I am from. I will always be a Yankees fan, and no asshole can ever tell me that just because I wasn't born with gel in my hair and a gold chain around my neck, doesn't mean I can't still support the men in pinstripes.

I'm saying all this now because of the harassment I've been receiving since Alex Rodriguez decided to opt out of his contract with the Yankees yesterday. The timing couldn't have been worse, with the Red Sox winning the World Series already putting me in the worst mood since I found out they weren't making a sequel to Freddy Got Fingered.

I'm not really sure if I'm glad to see AROD go or not, but what I am already sick of is hearing STUPID FUCKING CUBS FANS brag about how they're going to sign Rodriguez like it's as easy as finding a gay guy within a block of Wrigley Field. I always doubted the knowledge of Cubs fans in general, whether it was their blatant disregard for even the most basic details about the game of baseball, or knowledge of the actual players on their team (i.e. cheering for the "return" of Kerry Wood this year when it was just Bobby Howry). I'm not sure if it's the Old Style or all those day games, but Cubs fans are seriously dazed and confused if they think that they can just up and sign Alex Rodriguez to the contract he thinks he deserves.



Where's the money going to come from? I work for the fucking Tribune Company and they don't even have an employee education plan which refunds you if you want to get your MBA. Nobody knows what the hell is going on with Sam Zell and his plans for the future of the company (which includes the future of the Cubs and Wrigley Field). There's a major freeze on spending now because of the pending sale and because the Tribune actually opened up their wallets to pay to bring Alfonso Soriano to the Cubs, as well as give contract extensions for Carlos Zambrano and Aramis Ramirez. Think any "Cubs fans" know anything about the MLB Collective Bargaining Agreement? They can barely give the starting lineup and pitching rotation.

So shut the fuck up Cubs fans, you haven't ever won shit, you won't ever win shit and Wrigley Field will continue to smell like shit as long as you let drunk assholes drink to they puke every summer afternoon up on the North Side of Chicago.