You Little Assholes

I as informed you last night, my intentions were to go dressed up as Inspector Gadget to my buddies party last night. I had many people tell me I had the best costume of the night, and seeing what other people came in (judging from the night, in some cases literally) I believed so too. So what do you do when someone has a great idea for their costume?! FUCKIN STEAL IT, OF COURSE! My friends brother had some people over too, and they're about 3 years younger then us. Little fucking pricks. I worked for 2 hours on the hat alone. It was the shit. Now I have a second Halloween party to go to tonight, and I'm completely screwed for ideas because my brain is clouded by barley and hops.

Any ideas? I know I don't do Saturday posts very often, but I just popped 3 advils for my headache and lower back from last night's spill on the deck I took. The deck was covered in mud, more slick then an persian's head before heading to the club. So what what do I do? predictably bite it, landing on the edge of the step, right on my lower back. Of course, I was pretty fucked up at the time, so it didn't hurt as bad. When I woke up this morning, I felt like someone had just taken a baton to my back and then held it there pushing it harder into my skin. Not good times.

Speaking of not good times, so there was a nice amount of coed ass running around at the party, which was great. So me and some of my buddies are picking them off left and right, and who do I get? A hot little blonde with the tightest body. Fucking awesome, right? Yes. But when she's seen her friend get raped, has been abused by her father several times, takes a ton of diet pills, is admittedly bulemic, and tells you all this in the kitchen in 15 minutes? Not so much. Of all the girls running around, I get the next one appearing on fucking Maury next week. I swear between the biting it on the deck, the little fuckers stealing my gadget hat, and britney spears junior circa 2000 when she was hot, not good times. For anyone keeping score at home, the doctor did get some last night, not much, but hey, Wrigleyville is like a lay-up with drunk broads wanting it. So thanks for the warm-up, because it's on. Hopefully, my back won't be getting in the way, because much like Willis Reed, I score even while hurt.